Mental notes to myself,

Sometimes I have to stop and listen to my inner voice about what to do or more often what not to do here are some examples,

• When the man with approximately 3 teeth turns and yells, "get over here and fix this retarded thing." While you are helping another customer, Do not ask him if he means the machine or himself. Do not grab him by the ear and tell him that is not an appropriate word to say. Do finish with your customer and kindly go tell toothy what stupid thing he did to mess up the machine. 
• When a teeny tiny man from a far off land snaps his fingers at me and then points beside himself for me to come like I'm a dog, DO NOT   DISEMBOWEL THE CUSTOMER. Do not slap his face and say we don't snap at princesses. Do not warn the woman he is with to run far and fast away from him. Do give him your best what did you just do to me? look abd then go help him then get as far away as you can so you can resist the urge to slap him. Oh and Don't point out that the giant man nearby is my husband who would happily squash him like a bug for mistreating the princess. 
• When your husband says I'll do it tomorrow. assume he means next week and if possible do it yourself. Do not text him 12 times tomorrow asking if he's done it yet. The answer will just anger you so just do it yourself it's easier. 
• When people are over and looking at your ducks and chickens and the ducks or chickens get frisky, Do not yell no rape in front of mommy. People will think you're weird even though you think it's a wonderful training method. 
• When your husband leaves clothes strewn about the house like he's a teenage girl who does 17 wardrobe changes a day, Do not call him a teenage girl. Just check the pockets and throw it in the laundry. AGAIN
• When you are working and people keep having unexpected items in the bagging area and you keep showing them that if they pick up the last item they put down and then check the screen to see if they scanned it which they didn't but yet they keep doing that every other item. It is not okay to ask if they have any common sense or short term memory.
• When the lady who steals whole carts full of stuff on other peoples watch but knows I watch her, comes up with a full cart then sees that I'm working sco and turns around to put back all the stuff she was gonna steal and comes to pay for the 4 items she could afford. It's not okay to yell BOOM NOT ON MY WATCH LADY. It is okay however to grin when she glares at you because you know that security has her picture and times she has stolen stuff because you write down what days and times she normally comes in . You're gonna get caught!!

My brain is a little more sassy then what I let show, which is saying something cause everyone knows I'm a sassball. :)