Since You've Been Gone.

It has been about 3 months since we lost Grandpa. Everyday something different surprises me. I'll see a car stop outside and miss him yelling and trying to figure out who it is. I'll watch football and miss him sitting there laughing at how invested I get. I'll have garden questions and have to look the answers up online because he's not here. I feel guilty anytime that I think about enjoying living with just my husband for the first time in years. I can't leave his door open or I cry when I look in. The one thing that helps is knowing that he's up there with his love again. He used to walk out on the back porch every night that it was warm enough and talk to his wife in heaven. They had such a sweet love story and I wish I could have met her but I'm so thankful to have gotten to spend time with him. Yes housework is easier now and I don't have to work my works schedule around getting home to feed grandpa. But I would trade all of the good things for even one more day with him. If I had one more day with him I think we'd go fishing. I'd let him teach me how to fly fish. I'd cook him his favorite meals. I'd ask him to tell me all his stories again. I hate that he's not here. I wish he could see all the hard work Luke has been doing on the farm. I wish he were here to tell me I look purdy. I wish I could hear him tell Sasha our dog that he was gonna ear mark and brand her and bob of her tail. While she hugs him and wags her tail. I just miss him. I know that it will get less painful with time but I still wish he was here.. :(

How to do everything wrong at Self Checkout.

I have some tips if you want to drive your self checkout person bananas.

1. bring your own bags but don't push the I brought my own bags button and then sigh loudly when the scale alarms. (we love that)

2. With every single item push skip bagging and then immediately bag the item and again sigh loudly and stare when the scale alarm goes off.

3. If you have a question wait until they help another customer and then stand there saying excuse me I need help. Mam Hello? and pretend that you are the only one there and they aren't monitoring 6-7 transactions at once.

4. If you make a mistake act like it's the machine's fault or even better somehow the self checkout person's fault. because they just call it self checkout so you can blame anyone but yourself for all mistakes.

5. Ask the self checkout person for every single produce code because you're clearly to important to look it up like everyone else.

7. Walk up and say "I don't know how to use these but the lines are long can you just do it for me?" because again you are the most important person in the world and the self checkout person is clearly an octopus with the ability to just ring everyone up at once. Just ignore the "self" part of self checkout.

And when all else fails act like as big of a jerk as possible. be loud and selfish. OR if you want to be a good human being and don't want your self checkout person secretly daydreaming about an anvil dropping on you like in cartoons. Then maybe don't do any of these things. Keep in mind that they are dealing with several people at once and usually running the front end breaks and organizing who needs to be where on the front end. Please be nice. We have all been in a hurry before but no need to ruin someone else's day! Also if you make a mistake don't worry we are all aware the machines are nuts sometimes and nobody is judging you unless your rude and then we'll judge you  A LOT, Lol :)

Tea hard candy.

I recently decided to try my hand at making hard candies. I looked up several recipes and decided to make my own recipe based off one I found. The main variation is the flavor I chose was my favorite tea flavor. Tazo's Refresh tea is by far my favorite tea. I am caffiene intolerent and the combination of mints and tarragon is amazing. So I made my first batch this flavor tomorrow however my husband will get his favorite blackberry and black tea! The wonderful thing is that you can make this candy any flavor. Don't like tea swap out juice or water with your favorite extract in it. Give it a try!

Here's what you'll need.

A large pot
A cookied sheet lined with parchment papaer
3 3/4 c sugar 
1 1/4 c light corn syrup 
1 c strongly brewed tea (I put 2 tea bags in with a cup and a half of water to allow for evaporation and boiled for about 3 min.)
powdered sugar

Directions

Sprinkle cookie sheet with powdered sugar and set aside. Combine sugar syrup and tea in a saucepan and continuously stir over medium heat until the sugar is dissolved. Continue to cook without stirring until a candy thermometer reaches 290 degrees. (Between 34 and 45 minutes) Pour mixture onto prepared cookie sheet and allow to cool completely. Once completely cooled lay a clean towel over top of sheet and break candy into pieces by taping with a hammer. Sprinkle candy again with powdered sugar. This candy is addictive and delicious. My hubby and I like it because we can make any flavor! You can also add food coloring before pouring onto the cookie sheet if you choose! Good luck and happy candy making!

Accountability

I have decided to make some small changes in my life. I want to feel better. I have never been a person who's self esteem is tied to her weight. I have been thin and chunky and I'm still the same me. The only difference is my health. I have also been thin and unhealthy and chunky and healthy. But currently my weight is not helping my health problems so I'm changing some stuff. Now I have never believed in diets I think they make you feel deprived and fail most of the time. In the past when I've lost weight it has happened just from increasing my water intake and working out. I currently have some health issues that make hard workouts pretty painful and dangerous so until I can begin a workout regime I am making other changes while I heal.from this health problem. My changes so far are. 
-I have a veggie filled salad with grilled chicken as one of my meals almost everyday. I adore salad and naturally gravitate towards a vegetarian diet but hubby helps me keep protien in my diet. So this was an easy step.

-I downloaded an app called my fitness pal. Which allows me to have a food diary right in my phone. It tells me when I'm not eating enough to loose weight and warns me that not consuming enough can slow my metabolism.

-I record everything in my food diary. It takes just a minute and there is no reason to lie because it's just for my own benefit.

-I make sure to start off with a healthy breakfast. Usually a yogurt and some fruit. But sometimes I splurge and have frosted flakes or waffles.

-I also downloaded an app that will allow me to track my water intake and it tells me how much I need to consume a day to keep hydrated and healthy. This is also helpful for keeping my kidney stones and migraines at bay. Also it alerts me when it's time to drink more water.

-Once I am done healing I have 3 different apps with workout videos on them. There is tons of variety so I won't get bored.

-I've decided that on days I don't feel like working out I will still walk on my treadmill for as long as possible.

-And finally I'm taking accountability. I am the only one who can make me healthier and I can do it. I've lost a lot of weight before and I can do it again.

Now I'm off to try to get hubby on board. Everything is better when your love and best friend joins in. Think about what small changes you can make to feel better and try it out! It's slower but usually drastic changes don't last as long. Hopefully I can stick with this and keep you all updated! Wish me luck!