Corvallis, I'm worried about you

So, I was born and raised in Salem but I spent most of my teen and adult years in Corvallis. and Corvallis I'm worried about you. I know you have a great reputation. Wonderful little college town. Home of the OSU Beavers! Very safe place to live. Friendliest people ever. (unless you work retail) and that seems great but now the first impression some parents get if they come into town a certain way is this. A huge bright purple marijuana dispensary followed by a billion fast food joints, oh and a sex shop. While I am okay with all of these things being in our town and people partaking in these things I think it may scare some people off of our wonderful friendly little town. and if you ever visit Corvallis there is honestly so much more beauty, history, and culture to absorb. So try not to focus on the first impressions. :)

Who's fault is this really?

So, we all know I work in retail. Which basically means that I am forced to keep a smile on my face while being blamed for a million things I have nothing to do with, like:

• I have had multiple customers get mad when a self check out machine breaks and we don't happen to have a new hard drive or anyone with the skills to fix it just waiting around the store. 
• People get mad when a Self checkout is close for multiple days. So do we but once we have put in a work order it's out of our hands, They will show up and fix it when they can.
• People get upset when the store is out of a certain denomination of money. It sucks more for us trust me but when an armored truck breaks down they can't just get a rent a car and drive us over thousands of dollars. That's not how it works.
• I have gotten yelled at on thanksgiving day because we ran out of sweet potatoes. Okay, first of all if you wait to get them until the day of then you are my least favorite kind of human. Secondly that's not just something we can have the warehouse stock up on and have an unlimited supply of. the process to create sweet potatoes involves farmers, dirt, sunshine, water, and GOD. I have no power over any of those things. 
• When people get mad at restaurants because it's busy and it takes longer to get their food. I want to go explain the entire cooking process to them and ask them how long it would take them to cook different meals for 50 different people.
• When people go into stores on a holiday or a five dollar Friday type thing and then wonder why it's so busy. I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying well why are you here dumbass? Cause it's probably the same reason everyone else is.

Because of all of these things and more I just want so badly to dress up as the common sense fairy (Which is just me +sparkles+wings+ a foam bat with the word COMMON SENSE written on it) and then I would like to have the freedom to beat my common sense into everyone who does any of these things or anything I deem bat worthy,. A girl can dream right? :)

Made of so much.

This is my face. It is, Irish, Norwegian, Austrian, Scottish, Spanish, Winnebago, Okanagan, Black Foot, French, and so many other things. I am made up of all of these things. I don't see beauty, or ugliness when I look in the mirror. I see me. I see my mom, my grandma, my aunts, my Great grandparents. I see family when I look in the mirror. So it doesn't matter if my eyes are too big or my cheeks to pronounced. It doesn't matter that my face has gone from heart shaped to more rounded because of weight gain. It doesn't matter that I'm loosing hair. All tha matters is that I love me. And as long as that doesn't change then my face is just what it needs to be....  Me! :)

Don't assume I'm normal

So, the title of this blog isn't meant to make it seem like the things I discuss make me a weirdo. I do that on my own. Ok! So, the other day I was working and I had a lady who rang several things up without getting me to do the 50% off stickers. She was then upset about the price, of course bcause it was about $10 more then what she had expected. That's fine. I went over and said "Oh, it makes me do the 50% off items for you anyway I'll just fix it real quick." She then started freaking out and talking about how much she hated Self Check Out. A complaint I hear a lot but it makes no sense to me when there are checkers with no line. It you hate it don't do it. But anyway, I said "oh yeah it can get annoying when the bagging alarm keeps going off but I don't mind fixing it." Then she said "No you don't understand I have severe anxiety," Okay well that explains the irritability so I said "Oh I feel ya me too." She then got very upset and said "No you don't understand it gets so bad I have to go to the E.R. sometimes." Okay so just assuming that because I am a happy person who is currently functioning well and smiling at work, that I must not know what "real anxiety is" is ridiculous. I said oh yeah I get seizures form my anxiety and have been hospitalized for a week to monitor the seizures before." Then she back pedaled and said oh that does sound serous. I finished with her stuff and she was on her way.

So, that shouldn't bother me, but, it does. because I just don't like people making assumptions. I try not to make assumptions when I see people. I adore some of our homeless customers and they like coming to me because I don't assume that just because they are homeless and doing without somethings that they can't have a nice conversation and make each others day nicer. I try not to assume that someone is a drug addict when they are acting strangely. So it's not fair that this lady just assumed that because I'm young and happy that I don't have anything going on behind the wall of happiness, I have very severe anxiety but I have learned how to deal with it. And , yes I can hold down a job even though I have seizures along with my panic attacks. However, all of my co-workers are aware of my health problems and I am blessed to have amazing co-workers who understand when I have an unexpected seizure. or if I need a break right away to take my anxiety medicine to try to prevent a seizure. I don't know why this lady bothered me so much. Maybe because after all I have been through in my life (raised in an abusive household, molested at age 4, having to care for my whole family at age 13 because of my mother having very serious cancer.) All of those things I survived and I grew up to be a pretty cheerful person. but assuming that just because I am cheerful, I must have an easy life hurt me a bit. I know that she didn't know everything I've been through but her assumptions hurt. It felt like she was saying that I couldn't really have anxiety.

Anxiety is something I deal with everyday of my life. Some days it's easy to deal with, Other days it's just not possible to function normally. But the main thing is I try. I find things that calm me. I read, drink herbal tea, watch a marvel movie (I know it's weird but it calms me down) I find ways to have anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder and not just stay alive but live and enjoy my time on this earth. Thank you to all the people who help me with this on a regular basis. and if you ever visit my home for goodness sake don't mess up the blinds. (I'll mess you up) :p

Simmer down and listen

So I find myself thinking this several times a day. I feel like we are all so busy and rushing so much that we don't even take time to think or listen anymore. Like the other day at work some guy yelled at me that the self checkout machine didn't give him his cash back. Well the cash was already out of the machine and as he was yelling at me the machine was saying "cash is dispensed below the scanner" Now, I;m sure he was in a hurry and there was more to his side of this interaction but once I came over and showed him where his money was he said "Well the machine should tell you or show you where it comes out. I didn't see it." Which is true the machine should do that but it's also true that it did do that. If he would have simmered down and listened he wouldn't have had to yell at me and cause everyone around him to look at him like he was a jackass.

This doesn't only happen at work though I feel like even with your loved ones they can assume they know how you are going to finish what you're saying and they can get mad and interrupt causing unnecessary arguments. I'll admit I've been on both sides of this with some of my loved ones. So I am now making an effort to simmer down and listen, or to pause and think before automatically going to the worst case scenario.

Another example I have seen of this is some parents with their children. Now I know that kids can spend all their waking hours saying "mom, momma, mommy, mom, mother!" or "dad, dad, daddy, dad!" but sometimes they really do have something important to say. For example a few months ago in a store I saw a very busy mom who was trying to hurry out the store to get her kid to daycare and then her to work. She was busy, hurrying, and distracted. Well her little boy kept saying, "mom, momma, mom" to which she kept replying, "Just a minute buddy I'm doing something." Well it turns out he urgently needed the restroom as he had a bladder infection and in a tiny kiddo that gives you even less warning for your urgent needs then in adults. So poor kiddo wet his pants. The mom was great and sweet and comforted him. However, I'm sure she was also much later to work because of this situation.

So I think that we all need to take a breath, simmer down, realize we are not chicken little and the sky is not falling, and listen to each other. And please even if you're in a hurry don't yell at the checkout person. It's rude and can throw off their whole day. Plus at SELF checkout there is pretty much only one person in control of your whole order, I'll give you a hint..... It's not me or it would just be called checkout. ;) For goodness sake be happy sometimes people. It's much more fun!