Speechless

There are very few things in this world that shock me or make me speechless. I feel silly that the thing that has done this is the death of my 92 year old grandpa. People say he was 92 that was a good long life or you had to expect it he was 92. Well sorry to tell you I knew it was a possibility but I never expected it. See I always thought grandpa would live to be 110 at least. I thought he would live long enough to tell my kids stories. But now I have to tell them. I know that he had a bad heart. But he lived through pearl harbor and Normandy I thought nothing could take him down. I told him every night, "I'll see you in the morning." Never thinking that someday that wasn't going to be true. I started out this year with 3 grandparents and I now have none. I can't even begin to process my feelings. We have family staying with us and until everyone leaves and my husband and I have to face the reality of living day to day without him in our home. I don't think I will process this. Right now I feel like it's not my place to cry. I'm surrounded by people who were raised by this man. I've had him on my life only seven years. I remember when I was first dating my husband, Grandpa would call me "the girl with the sweet voice." I tried to convince Luke not to tell him my real name so we could keep that going. He noticed every new outfit or hairdo. He could always be counted on to tell you how "purdy" you were. I being the ham I am would do anything to make him giggle. I'd slowly lean over and bite my husbands arm during dinner just to make grandpa laugh. We loved watching Beavers games together. Grandpa mostly loved it because I was hollering and hopping up and down while they were winning and lying on my face pouting when they were loosing. On gamedays that I worked he'd complain that he wasn't going to be able to tell how the game was going if I wasn't running around the house. I'm going to miss him so much. I'm so scared for when it finally hits me that he's not just gone fishing. I truly feel like I could sit silently in the corner for days. But that's not very me. Maybe I'll watch an old beaver game. Grandpa I miss you.

2013 a year in review

Well as with most years 2013 has had some huge ups and some pretty big downs. My two still living grandparents died 3 days apart from each other in March. That was the roughest part of my year. My husband lost his job and has had trouble finding a new one. But I turned 30 and got a trip to the zoo filled with great memories. I found out I'm going to be an aunt. I got trained in the pharmacy at work. The beginning of the year my health was very bad and it felt like it just kept getting worse but recently my health has been improving. I'm having less seizures, less migraines, and less kidney stones. My family has had decent health. No major family feuds.  I think in general it's been a great year. I have a very dear friend expecting a baby any day now and I can't wait for her arrival. If she shows up in the next few days then I will have one more thing to feel blessed for in 2013. If not then she'll have to be my first thankful thing of 2014! I try every year to let myself mourn the poor things that happened that year but I also try to think of the things that I feel so blessed for. I got my 2 precious kitties this year. I gained more friends then I lost. I feel like my life is moving towards a very positive place. I don't make new years resolutions because I don't like to set myself up for disappointment but I'm hoping to keep the happiness going in 2014. I hope to drink more water, focus on mine and my husbands health and eating habits better. I want to plant an even bigger garden this year. If those things don't happen it's not the end of the world but I'd like to try to improve. I think as long as we're always striving to get better then the world will keep improving. So weather you make resolutions or not I wish you all a very happy 2014!

Snow Cookies.

This is the easiest and most customisable cookie recipe I have ever come across. This recipe has 4 ingredients. It is super easy to make. I also love how kid friendly this recipe is. It can be a bit messy but I think that makes it even more kid friendly. You will need.

2 eggs

1 8oz tub of cool whip

1 box of cake mix (any flavor you want!!)

powdered sugar

All you do is mix one box of cake mix, two eggs and a tub of cool whip in a bowl. Then once that is well mixed you get a bowl half full of powdered sugar and take a dollop of the dough drop it in the powdered sugar. Roll it around until it is completely covered and put it on a cookie sheet. The way I see this recipe most is with lemon cake mix but I use whatever I'm in the mood for. For Christmas I made a batch of gingerbread snow cookies. A batch of double chocolate fudge and my favorite cherry chip (which turn out Christmas colored if you add green food coloring!!!) These are SO GOOD! The perfect cookies for Santa!

Dogs or Cats?

I feel like everyone needs to define everyone else too much. You're either a dog person or a cat person. A liberal or a conservative. You either love or hate cilantro. When in reality I think there is a lot of people who fall into the grey areas. I love cilantro so that one's black and white. I am mostly liberal with a few conservative viewpoints. So that's mostly cut and dry for me but Cat person or Dog person. How could I choose? I have always had both in my life. I love cats. They have a diva attitude like me. They are always good snuggle buddies. They do hilarious things like trying to walk vertically. My cats can say mom, dad, and out. They can also say yes and no. A cat like a baby is far more entertained with a box then with the contents of the box most of the time. I can hold my cats like babies. They are good listeners. But dogs. They are never anything less then crazy enthusiastic to see you. They keep you warm at night. They always put your needs first. They are selfless piles of love. My big dog can tell me when I'm going to have a seizure. My little dog has the most adorable smooshy puggle face in the world. I feel like every animal I have had was meant to be in my life. Dog, Cat, Duck, Rabbit, Cow, Rat, or Bearded Dragon. They have all come into my life for a reason and there is no way I could say that I'm more aligned with one type of pet. So sorry people I'm not a cat or dog person I'm a catdogcowlizardamphibianbatrodentduckfishetc. person. I love them all! Don't make me choose. or I'll make you choose which eye you'd rather have me poke :p

D.I.Y. Coconut Oil Cookie Scented Body Scrub

This year I was worried I couldn't get Christmas gifts for everyone I wanted to. So I decided to try making gifts. Out of that came this awesome body scrub. I use this to exfoliate after my shower gel because it is extremely moisturizing, It leaves my skin feeling so soft. Plus it smells great. I can't eat cookies because of food allergies but I can smell like them with this scrub. It is super easy to make. You will need:

• 14 oz. of coconut oil
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 cup white sugar
• 2 tablespoons vanilla 
• 1 tablespoon cinnamon
• 1 table spoon salt
• 1 wide mouthed mason jar or other heat proof container

I started by warming the coconut oil until it was completely liquefied. I did this by placing the jar into a bowl of hot water until it poured out then warming it in a large pan on the lowest heat just until everything was liquid. Then I added all of the other ingredients and stirred well. I left it sitting on the counter and stirred every 15 minutes for about an hour so that it didn't separate. Once it is hard enough that it was difficult to stir it's done! I keep it in my bathroom and use it to exfoliate my hands, lips, feet, or body. Even after just one use you will notice a difference! Try it and let me know what you think! 

-Love and blessings, Tuffy!

One of those days

I try to be an always happy and positive person but there are still days when just all the negative things hit me at once. Today is one of those days. I have an anxiety disorder but bringing myself to actually take the medicine is even a difficult task. I feel like a failure every time I take those pills. I try to drink herbal peppermint tea to calm down. I try watching funny videos. I try sniffing eucalyptus oil. Sometimes it helps but days like today it doesn't. I won't go into whats bothering me today because it's so many things that I know in the grand scheme of things don't matter. I know I should focus on things I'm thankful for but days like this it's so hard to do. That's not to say I'm not thankful for all I have but for instance I could have all the money in the world and the best friends and a great job and my wonderful husband and great pets but I would still be thinking in the back of my mind that it is all great but would be better if I had my Gramps. It's not always about missing my Gramps but I do miss him so much. Some days it's just hard to not feel like a failure. So my game plan for today is this pointless blog, then I'm going to watch a kids movie drink tea and pray on it. Lets hope the big guy upstairs can spare a moment to fill me with his love and warmth. Any suggestions on overcoming anxiety are welcome! Hope everyone is having a blessed day!
-A less Tuff today Tuffy

Moisturizer with a purpose

DDF® Wrinkle Resist Plus Pore Minimizer Moisturizing Serum

This stuff is amazing. I tend to have oily skin and used to be terrified to moisturize. Now that I have reached the magic 30. I have thought a lot more about how to keep my skin looking younger. This stuff is amazing it feels super nourishing and goes on smooth. It also sinks right in and doesn't leave my skin feeling greasy. My favorite thing about this product it how amazing it smells. I look forward to moisturizing every night now. I have noticed a difference in the appearance of my pores and if I could afford it this would be my only moisturizer. I would use this morning noon and night. It sells on Birchbox for $85 but a little goes a long way. I have had my sample from them for 2 months and I'm sadly almost out but it has lasted longer then any other sample I've received from them.If you can't afford to buy this I suggest you try Birchbox.com They have amazing samples and it only costs $10 a month. If you sign up under my link you will help me earn points towards buying my new skincare addiction. ;) Here's the link. http://birch.ly/1fm3804 A Birchbox membership makes a great Christmas gift!

Grown Up's Snow Day a List of Pro's and Cons.

Yesterday and today Oregon has seen some unseasonably cold weather. Tonight it is currently 7 degrees at my house. I also happen to live on a farm in the middle of nowhere on a very dangerous road even when it's not icy. Now I can't decide if I like snow days or not. Sure as a kid they were just great but as an adult I go back and forth between loving and hating the white stuff. Here is a list of pro's and cons.

PRO
I get more snuggle time with my cats.

CON
I am allergic to my cats.

PRO
My house is warm

CON
My pipes are not.

PRO
I can catch up on my reading.

CON
Nobody pays me to read.

PRO
I get to spend more time with grandpa.

CON
I hear the same snow day stories about 70 times.

PRO 
I'm much safer not going out on the roads.

CON
I run out of everything and just want to go shopping.

PRO?
Without running water I'm honing my survival skills.

CON?
I apparently can't survive without my husband lifting the heavy water jugs.

PRO
I get to stay on the farm all day

CON
I would have to cross a frozen bridge to see my cows. That is assuming I even leave the house when it's this cold.

PRO
No work.

CON
No work.

PRO
It feels very Christmasy and would be the perfect time to put up our Christmas tree that we wisely bought before it froze.

CON
We weren't wise enough to bring the stand in before it froze so we can't put the tree up until the block of ice in it melts which would happen much quicker if we had warm running water.

So there you go just a short list of some pro's and cons from my Grown Up Snow Day. Tomorrow I have a date with my footie pajamas, my book and the fireside!

Not quite a twin

My older brother and I were born 16 months apart. Since I've been able to walk we've had people assuming we are twins. I feel like I got the best of both worlds. My big bro and I are super close. We have the twin bond. We can always tell what the other one is feeling. He calls me out of the blue almost every time I'm having a horrible day. However a lot of twins are polar opposites where as my brother and I are both super social. We are both content to sit and read for hours or play video games. We are just enough alike to get along. There are ways that we are opposites. I am not a fan of bars but he works at one and loves it. I am a bit more O.C.D. then he is. I show my stress like a little chihuahua where as he tends to silently stew when he gets stressed out.

 I always have people who have young kids close in age ask me if my brother and I are close and if I think it has anything to do with our being just over a year apart in age. I 100% think that we are closer because we grew up as each others first best friends. I think it's possible to be super close even with more of an age difference (my baby brother and I are very close as well) I think being close in age can make it easier to relate to one another. But all in all I think we are all super close because we make a real true effort to be not just siblings but friends. I wish everyone could have that. I adore my brothers. Twinsy and Baby bro. I can't imagine my life without either of them and I'm glad I don't have too!

My cat has a fan base.

I have an 8 month old cat named Oliver. Oliver is possibly the sweetest cat on earth. In fact the thing that I get messages most about on Facebook is my kitty. Today alone I had many family members comment on how handsome he is and how strong his stripes are. Then I got messages from 2 different people about him today. He is turning me into a crazy cat lady. When I come home from work he always walks me from the car to the door and then comes in eats and curls up near or on me and purrs. He's the perfect level of sweet too. He's not one of those cats that won't leave you alone. If you put him down he'll prance off to find another warm place to curl up. But if you want snuggles all you need do is call him. He loves our dogs and follows them around swatting at their tails. I may just have the best kitten ever!

Thanksgiving stress

Every year as it gets close to Thanksgiving I freak out. I worry that the house isn't clean enough. I worry that I'll be to exhausted from working the week before. I worry that I have forgotten to buy something. And every year my whole life it ends up the same. It doesn't matter if I cook everything or not. It ends up that I have a moment after everyone arrives and is chatting and laughing that I look around and feel just thankful to be here with these people. It doesn't matter if I run out of butter or if I forgot to dust that one table. It all ends up fine. I always enjoy myself whether I be with my family or my husbands family. It is a great holiday to just enjoy what you have! I get so caught up with the hussle and bussle of working in a grocery store before thanksgiving. There are always more sweet customers then rude ones. I mostly try to focus on the nice customers! But it does threaten to ruin my joy when someone screams at me about where we keep our croutons or the fact that I'm not a bank and don't keep large bills in my register for them to give as a gift. But then a sweet customer will come up and hug me and wish me a happy Thanksgiving! Those are the moments I choose to focus on. Just like when my family is all laughing and having fun. Focus on the joy of the holiday and you will feel truly thankful! God bless! Happy Thanksgiving!

Book review

I just finished the second book in the Unwind series. "Unwholly" This book had me on the edge of my seat. I pride myself in being able to predict what is going to happen in a book and this book dropped my jaw several times. Just when you think everything looks bleak and it's going to be horrible for someone the situation changes. The rug was pulled out from under some of my favorite characters in this book. It has several new characters including Camus Comprix. Who is a wonderfully complex character. At times you want to hate him, hug him, slap him, or love him. It continues the story from the first book and has some amazing revelations about characters from Unwind. I would really recommend this book to all my fellow book worms. There are characters that you love to love, some you love to hate, and some you hate to love. This book is brilliant. I am officially a huge fan of this author!

What would I do if I won the lottery?

I always see on these t.v. shows all of the stupid stuff people spend lottery money on. Why are these people winning? Come on God here's a list of things I would do if money were no object.
- Pay off my mother and mother-in-laws mortgages.
-Remodel our home
- Make sure both brothers had reliable vehicles.
-Spend more time fishing with grandpa.
- Take all of my coworkers to a movie night.
- Make improvements on the farm. (Maybe build a hobbit hole)
- Raise more rescue pets.
-Make sure that all of my Nieces and Nephews felt spoiled and loved!
- Go on a real honeymoon.
- Invest in my families happiness. Because how could you regret that?
-Take my family to Disney World.
- Go see friends and family in different states.
- But the most important thing I would do is pay it forward. Not just pay for someones groceries or Christmas presents but like do something to allow them time to enjoy their families.
I think the world would truly be a better place if I won the lottery. Just somethin to think about God. ;)

Always Against The Odds

I have always been an odd duck. I get it from my mother. When we get strep throat we tend to get the kind that like 2% of people get. If there's an extremely low chance of anyone being allergic to something then you can pretty well bet that either my mom or me or both of us will be allergic. Well 17 years ago my mom had a very rare and aggressive form of cancer. At the time we were told that nobody who had gotten it had lived past 5 years. No female had yet gotten it. Nobody younger then 55 had ever had it. She was 34. She had against all odds contracted this horrible disease. I was 13 and I took over raising my brothers who were 10 and 14. I also took care of my mother once she was released. When I see 13 year olds now I don't know how I did that at that age. I against all odds kept our family together. I kept my grades up and I kept my sanity and even perkiness through it all. My mother as of today against all odds is 17 years cancer free! There are so many people that I include in my prayers at night because of this. She had an amazing team of doctors. She had wonderful nurses who even gave her massages while she was recovering. She has had 17 years of more doctors and nurses keeping her healthy. I'm thankful for the people who supported me while I supported her. But most of all I am thankful that I have my odd duck mommy! We're odd ducks but sometimes being the odd one out it a very good thing!

Dreams What the What?

I don't know if this happens for anyone else but for me it's always around 3-5 days before I come down with something I begin having crazy and or bad dreams. Why is that? I know that people have fever dreams but why? With everything else going on when I'm sick it would be super nice if when I fall asleep my body and mind would get with the princess program and baby me. Dreaming is supposed to be your escape. Why do we even have bad dreams? Who dropped the ball and coded that into our genetics? What purpose can a bad dream have? Aside from maybe burning a few more calories or causing you to wake up having to pee. I mean I'm thankful to the maker and all but I thought I'd put in a small bug report. Imagine how much better the world would be if we all just had amazing dreams at night. I bet there would be a bunch more morning people. We would all wake up with a little extra skip in our steps. Instead I get the joy of either never remembering my dreams or having crazy dreams that don't make sense (like vacationing in Ireland and being able to just ride a 3 min ferry to JAPAN?????) I'm all for the confusing ones they add entertainment. I used to love when my little brothers friend would tell me what he dreamed because it was so random it was like so I was riding in a pickup with my dad and the McDonalds guy and we were laughing about this tv show and then the car tore in half but then we all went for Ice cream. I mean what the heck who wouldn't want to know a person who's subconscious throws that out at them? Like I'm a super random person. I asked my husband tonight while we were discussing my fever and what we should do for if I could bite his thumb. he said why? I said cause it's bigger then mine, I'd have to bite three of my thumbs to get the size of your's and I only have two thumbs. This kind of conversation is not even a little abnormal in my house (It's well established in my house that I'm a human vampire shark mix that really just wants to eat lettuce) but my dreams for the most part can be pretty boring. I have the occasional what the what? moment but for the most part I dream things that could happen you know if geography would cooperate. I think it's like an extra little peek into who someone is when you hear about a dream. I'm not sure what my re-accuring teenage dream of straightening +Justin Timberlake's hair says about me but that's for others to ponder at. I already know I'm nuts!

Website Love or rather LUV!

I love pintrest but sometimes I wish that I could buy some of the beautiful things on the site. Enter Luvocracy.com This site lets you LUV products and your friends can buy the products through the site. The best part is if your friend buys something through your page then you get credits for you to buy things through it too! It's a win win situation. Especially with Christmas coming up! You can Luv pretty much anything anywhere on the web. it is so easy to master! You can build collections and this could be a great way for teenagers to write a christmas list! Check out mine at http://www.luvocracy.com/Tuttsluvs I'm new to the site but already finding it addicting! +Luvocracy

Book Recommendation!

Unwind Neal Shusterman.
I have recently finished reading the first unwind book in the trilogy. I would definitely recommend you check these books out especially if you liked The Hunger Games books. The book is also set in america in the future. We've had another civil war. The issue we were warring over was Pro-life or Pro-choice. So america decides that the only solution that will appease both sides is that no human life can be ended before 13 years of age. Between ages 13 and 18 your parents may decide to unwind you. That means that you are not dead but you live in a divided state. So all of your body parts are donated to keep others alive. This book makes you think. I haven't been this mixture of disturbed and unable to put a book down since The Hunger Games. This is another glimpse into a possible future that I for one don't want to ever exist. I love when fictional books make me think so much about real life issues. I don't think this book is good for too young of a reader but I think everyone should read this book! I can't wait to finish the Trilogy!!! +Neal Shusterman
http://www.amazon.com/Unwind-Dystology-Neal-Shusterman/dp/1416912053

Amazing Holy Grail Perfect Skin Product

So I have always been difficult to please when it comes to skin care. I have super sensitive skin. I get oily in some spots dry in others. I have blackheads like crazy and I could never find anything to remove eye makeup that didn't burn my eyes. Until I tried this product. It's so soothing I want to use it all the time. I love eucalyptus oil which is in this. It's calming scent helps relax me after a long day. The best part is that nothing gets my makeup off like this product. I just take about a pump and a half and spread it all over my face. then I put one of the muslin cloths to soak in warm water while I massage it into my skin. Unlike most skin products which I can't wait to get off, I actually enjoy having this on my face. There is no burning when I use it on my eyes and I don't have to rub it in too much to remove even waterproof mascara. Then you just wipe it off with the warm moist muslin cloth. I can not say enough good things about this product. On top of all of that, the first time I ordered it they didn't have it here in the states so I had to have it shipped internationally. It was worth it trust me. The bottle arrived with a tiny crack in it and had leaked a bit so I contacted the company and they were a true delight. They have excellent customer service! They sent me out a new bottle right away. I was so pleased with every aspect of this purchase! Now even better news they now carry it on Birchbox.com http://birch.ly/11uKtH1 

It's $24.50 with free shipping through birchbox for the starter kit. I think I payed around $35-$40 when I had it shipped overseas. So it's a great price and an amazing product. I am officially a Liz Earle fan for life! Can't wait to try more!!!

Cattle snuggles.

I am a city girl but I am also a farmer. This tends to end up with me adoring the livestock just like I adore my dog. I know that in November I lose some of our almost 2 year olds. Every year I dread that day. I like steak but I love my animals. My husband is supportive the night before he reminds me to use one of my sleeping pills and I do and the butcher comes at 7am. I sleep through it every year. I can't be there. My husband says with time I will get used to it. But I don't know about that. See my husband goes to feed the cows he knocks out the Hay pats one on the head and he's on his way. I go see the cows and I have to greet each of them. Two of them come running. I have to make sure I stay where they won't crush me if the both hug and rub their heads and necks against me at the same time. I love my babies. I bring them apples and pumpkins. They each have such great individual personalities I highly suggest you get to know a cow or two. Just don't stand between them and the fence so they don't crush you. I Love my Moosers. Hugs and blessings,Tuff

Why Compare?

There are so many people in this world who have to compare what they have to others. I'm sure we all do it sometimes but I've never understood when people think Oh I like my hair but that girl's is better. It's hair. It serves it's purpose keeps my head warm. I'd miss it if it were gone but then I'd buy a hat. My hair is ok not the best not the worse but if my friend has thicker healthier hair that doesn't change what I have. So what's the point in worrying. This is especially pester-some when it is used to attempt to make someone feel worse about themselves. Why would anyone actually want to do this. We are all different and that is what is great about our world. I think there are a lot of beautiful women out there but just because they exist and are beautiful doesn't change how I feel about myself at all. I will honestly say I'm mostly a sweet person. I can be a bit of a princess. I try my best to always be kind and try new things but I also know I hate getting dirty and prefer to have nice things. (who doesn't) I don't need to compare my self to other people to know these things about myself. I wish we could all stop comparing what we have and what we are to what others have and who they are. It's petty and does nothing positive for the world. Hugs and blessings

-Tuff

Beginning Nail Art Tools.

I LOVE NAIL ART. That being said sometimes I don't feel like getting out tools. They can be messy and a hassle. I do own and use many nail polish tools but some days I use my "cheater" tools. These are great for kids and beginners too! Here is a list of my tools.
- A Sharpie.
First I'll give you a helpful tip rubbing alcohol or even some hand Sanitizers remove Sharpie from skin and most surfaces. So Sharpies come in so many colors you can usually buy them individually at a office supply store and when using them for nail art all you have to do is draw, wait for it to dry, then use a good topcoat. Make sure you get enough topcoat on your brush or it can smear. The best part of this is if you mess up then use rubbing alcohol on a cotton pad to remove and try again!
- Liquid Eyeliners
Liquid eyeliners are a great alternative to make stripes! I have wet n wild liquid eyeliners in nearly every color they make. I use them more for my nails then my eyes! With this tip if you mess up wash your hands and start over. To seal in your design once you're happy with it just wait until it's totally dry and use topcoat!
- Toothpick.
A toothpick is my preferred dotting tool. I can adjust the size with scissors and a nail file. Just cut as much of the tip off as you need to make it bigger and then use a  metal nail file to level the new tip!
- Bobby Pins
This one is fairly well known but they work great as a larger dotting tool!
- Tape
One of my favorite manicures to do is cut out random shapes in tape place them on my nails then sponge on different colors onto my nail. You can even put several tape pieces on one nail and remove one or more and then sponge a new color on!
- Makeup sponges
My final tip is those cheap little makeup sponges. I always use these to sponge on polish. They work great and you can create beautiful ombre designs or even sunsets.
Try one or all of these and let me know how they work for you!

Two words that can make my day

So I am not really a huge T.v. or movie person. But I could watch YouTube for hours on end. There are so many YouTubers I love to watch. Of course daily grace. I like pointlessblog. vlogbrothers were the original ones who got me into YouTube. I like bitsandclips and missjenfabulous but there is one YouTuber who I look forward to her videos every Sunday. I watch all my videos in order but if I see this person has a new video I always watch hers first. She's adorable full of positivity and has probably the cutest baby on earth. The beginning of her videos start with two words that always make me smile, Aloha Sprinklerinos! Yep I adore Sprinkleofglitter. I love how happy she is. I love seeing how amazing she is with her daughter. I love her friendship with Zoella which reminds me so much of my besty and me. It also doesn't hurt that she's British and has an adorable accent. She likes all things pink and sparkly and she's not afraid to be silly or a little geeky or totally fangirl out. I like that because I do all those things. She has a great mix of content on her channel. She posts beauty, lifestyle, mommy stuff, etc. She's even a bit obsessed with stationary and organization like me. So next time you find yourself on YouTube check her out I bet you anything she'll make you smile and the babyglitter videos will for sure brighten your day! +Louise Pentland +Louise Pentland +Zoe Sugg +Grace Helbig +Alfie Deyes +MissJenFABULOUS https://www.youtube.com/user/Sprinkleofglitter

Perfect bronzer for the fair skinned

I am very fair skinned. My family calls me snow white and I am constantly telling people I'm pale enough to be a vampire. That being said most foundations and bronzers just don't work on such a pale person. I have found a few foundations that go pale enough to match my skin tone but I would always go to do an all over bronze look or even to contour and no matter how much blending I did it was far to obvious that it was there. Until one day when browsing the makeup department I came across wet n wild color icon bronzer with spf 15. In shade c743a reserve your cabana. At first I thought it was a setting powder then I saw that it said bronzer. It is a couple shades darker then my skin but doesn't ever look like I rubbed dirt on my face. This bronzer is so much lighter then most. It is the perfect color for those who like me have fairer skin. I strongly recommend this product if you have fair skin. It is super finely milled and works well as either contour or as an all over wash of color. Try it let me know what you think!

Clump free homemade laundry soap!

I like many have tried making homemade laundry soap several times only to be disappointed in how difficult it is to use. It gels up and no matter how much shaking or stirring you do the next time you use it it is back to completely gelled on the top. So I set out to make one that doesn't gel. You will need:
1 cup of Borax
1 cup of Arm & Hammer Laundry Detergent
1 bar of Fels Naptha
1/2 cup of Oxy Clean
1/4 cup baking soda.
3-4 gallons of hot water

Optional ingredients to make an all in one product are:

1 bottle (66 oz) of color safe bleach (I use Purex 2)
1 bottle (64 oz) fabric softener.

You also need a 5 gallon bucket and a spoon for mixing.

All you have to do is shred or grate the bar of Fels Naptha into a pot. Cover it with water and bring it to a boil stirring frequently until all the soap has dissolved. Then remove that from the heat and set aside while you mix all the dry ingredients (Borax, Laundry Detergent, Oxy Clean, and baking soda) in the bucket.  If you want to use the optional ingredients add them to the bucket now. Then pour the dissolved Fels Naptha into the bucket. Then stir like crazy until the baking soda quits fizzing and everything is mixed well! Then add hot water to the bucket until it's just over half full. No more or the baking soda will fizz too much and make it overflow. Let sit overnight or at least 6 hours and then add more hot water to about an inch from the top of the bucket.

This makes so much laundry soap and it's so inexpensive. You'll find that it is also very concentrated. I use about a quarter of a cup per load or a half a cup if you have heavily soiled clothes. Please try this out and let me know how you like it! I use a funnel after it has all cooled to put it in old laundry soap bottles. I also plan to make some for my family because it's so inexpensive and easy to make but still a great soap! Hugs and best wishes! -Tuffy

Best Show EVER!!!

I know not everyone will agree with me on this but, I think that the best television show that has ever existed is, The Big Bang Theory, I adore all of the main characters. It has filled the void in my heart left by Friends. It makes me laugh everyday. I relate to all of the characters for different reasons. I honestly think every person in the world should see this show at least once. I have favorite episodes from every single season. It makes Geeky look good and I have always personally loved Geeks. Please if you haven't seen it watch an episode. I suggest the Adhesive Duck Deficiency Or The  Ornithophobia Diffusion. I watch at least one episode a day most of the time! It's a good funny show to watch and de-stress. :) Enjoy! Hugs -Tuffy

Coping

I am in general a very empathetic person. Because of this I have been having a rough week because someone I didn't know took her life. I know many people who cared about her. She was only 15. I cannot imagine what her family is going through. I have had two people close to me take their lives. The first was my adopted brother. The second was a friend and co-worker. I remember feeling like life had stopped. I felt like why is everyone just going on with their daily lives when clearly the world is broken. Death in general is hard. I'm not going to say that it's harder when it's suicide.(I have never had a harder time with anything in my life then when my gramps died of natural causes.) But it is a very different thing when a loved one chooses to take their life. I feel so much for people who have to deal with this horrible thing. They will all go through horrible grief that no matter what anyone does we can't ease there hurting. I wish so badly that I could take their pain away and I find myself saying all the things that everyone said to me like, " I'm so sorry" or "If you need anything call me." I know that I can't change anything or make their pain go away but I feel like I have to let them know that I care. With this type of situation there is almost always someone who says something horribly insensitive. Even with the best intentions there is always someone who comes along with no filter and says something awful. I wish so badly that I could prevent anyone from having to feel this. I would do anything to have taken the pain away from my mom and other brothers and friends from when we lost my brother. I wish he wouldn't have chosen to leave us. I wish I could have stopped him. It's been over a decade since I lost my brother and I always wonder what he would be like now. Would he have kids? A dog? Would he still be into the same things he was? How would I or my brothers be different if we still had him? It has gotten easier as the years passed. I never thought it would but it has. Good memories outweigh the bad. It still stings when I think about the funeral or the day we found out but I just try to refocus on good memories happy times or even when we teased each other like brothers and sisters so often do. I never thought at the time those would turn into fond memories but there was love under all of that teasing. I miss all the people I've lost in my life no matter how they went and I will pray both for this family who lost such a precious girl and for those who ever contemplate taking their lives. I hope with all my heart that they can find hope and live! Hug your loved ones. Pray for those who are filled with despair.

Certain Church That Shall Remain Nameless.

I live in an area with several small towns. One of our small towns recently lost a hero in Afghanistan. My amazing community rallied around the family to offer support in any way possible. Then we all heard that a church was going to come protest outside his funeral. This church is known to protest outside of fallen soldiers funerals. Don't worry. In this instance thousands of people from my community took the day off and went to form a human wall. So that the family wouldn't have to see or hear anyone disrespecting the amazing person that their son was and the wonderful gift he gave us all of protecting our freedoms. He gave his life for us and the family now knows how much our community values his sacrifice for us. This church wanted to come and tell us that God hates certain people because of who they love or what they do. What the church ended up doing was making us all realize what a great community we have. It showed us how much we love and respect each other even if we've never met. This church preaches nothing but hate. I feel bad for someone always living in fear. Now let me tell you what I believe. I believe God loves me. I believe that God knows I'm not perfect and loves me anyway. I think if my husband has managed to love me through my flaws then my creator has too. I think writing God hates anything on a sign is wrong. I think God is merciful and loving. But the biggest thing I believe is that it's not my place to judge how someone else lives. If they ask I share my beliefs and I will never deny my love for God or that I'm a Christian. My bible says:

 Matthew 7:1-5

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

I will always respect that religion means different things to everyone. Your relationship with your creator is personal and your own unique love for your creator is beautiful. I know some don't share my beliefs and that is fine. I am always willing to learn what others believe. However I can't just sit by and watch someone tell someone else that they are not loved by our God because of the way they were born. I will always be willing to have respectful conversations about religion. I just can't believe the people in this church honestly believe they are doing the right thing. That being said I thank them for letting me see what a great place I live in and what wonderful people I am surrounded by. To end this blog on a positive note. Thank You to all the service men and women. I will forever be grateful for your service. God Bless. 

Oh and to spite that they announced they we're coming. We never saw them at his funeral. Some say they came but never got out of their cars. :)

Best friends.

I find this to be a much broader term then some people think. Like I have an all time, for life, always and forever best friend. Then I have my longtime best guy friend. Then I have my newer best guy friend. I have a newer best girl friend. I have my best friend that is a mommy and my best friend and soul mate, my husband. I consider both of my brothers to be some of my best friends because even if I didn't have to I would totally hang out with them if we weren't related. They're cool guys. My mom I talk to nearly everyday and tell her almost everything. She's absolutely one of my best friends. I have an aunt who is not much older then me and totally gets me. She was my maid of honor and totally a best friend. So I think it's great for people who have only one best friend but it's also great having many best friends! I can tell you that if you ask who my true B.F.F. is I'll tell you it's my SaraBear. But her daughter is like a daughter to me and she is no less a best friend then Sara. She's just my best friend who happens to be in elementary school. You never know when you meet someone how important they could end up becoming to you. I think that's one of the great things about life. You can meet someone and think your gonna be friends for years and then then can write you off and end the friendship on down the line. Or you could meet someone and initially think your personalities just don't match up. Then you could slowly grow fonder of them and they can become a lifelong friend. Be open to what and who God sends your way! You never know what joy they can bring to your life! And you can never have too many best friends! Hugs and blessings. -Tuffy

Super Cool?

I just got done watching a special on superheros. In that special they kept talking about how it was abnormal or uncool to like superhero's and comics up until about 10-15 years ago. I must say that if it was I was completely oblivious. I think that as with all things if you were obsessive about it then yeah you got a few sideways looks. But I gotta say I'm a very girly girl. I was the first girl born in my family. I was surrounded by all thinks girly. I liked Cabbage Patch Kids and Barbies. But I would drop those toys in a minute for He-man toys or X-men anything. Even now that I'm 30 I think one of the things my husband and I argue about most is Marvel vs. D.C. or more specifically Wolverine vs. Batman. Spoiler alert my answer is always Wolverine. No matter who he's against. I just don't see how people think negatively about someone for what they enjoy. If it's not hurting anyone then let them enjoy. I personally am not a fan of Justin Beiber or One Direction but I'll admit I like at least one song from each. But I love seeing how happy girls that do love them get because it reminds me of when I was young and crazy about Backstreet Boys and NSync. Why does our society accept teaching kids to judge each other based on what they find entertaining? I gotta say most people who know me still get surprised to find out that I can ramble about Wolverine or Jubilee forever. but thankfully they usually still like me. Who says that people who like comic books have to be "Geeks"? and since when is being a "geek" such a bad thing. I have always liked Geeks. :) Live and let live people. and hey try to understand what someone else likes and why they like it. Like I now understand why my hubby likes Batman. I still think Wolverine is better but I see why my husband feels so drawn to Batman too. Plus to all those people who teased me about loving NSync, I have 3 words for you, JUSTIN FREAKING TIMBERLAKE. :p

Argan Oil Addiction

I have come to realize in recent days that no matter how much I try to avoid the addictive personality gene that runs in my family, I have not. Granted my addiction is healthier then most but still. No matter how little splurge money I have, all a product must do to get me to buy it on impulse is contain argan oil! If it has that argan oil scent then I'm even more hooked. My top three products containing my own personal crack are:

-Suave Professional Moroccan Infusion Conditioner. This is my current favorite conditioner even above Aussie 3 minute miracle. It's that good. I put it on and even without letting it take time to soak in my hair feels instantly less frizzy and damaged! I will now be trying every product from this line! (
Update I have since tried every product from this line thank to a very sweet christmas gift and they are all great try the deep conditioning treatment 1-2 times a week
)

-I have also been loving DermOrganic Leave-In Argan Oil Treatment. This stuff is amazing. My best friend who is a hairstylist got me hooked on this 2 years ago and there was no looking back. My hair gets oily rather quickly so the thought of putting any kind of oil directly into my clean hair seemed horrific to me. However I just use the smallest amount of this on my dry split ends and it feels instantly repaired. This product doesn't have the argan oil scent in fact it smells like nothing but I love it so much anyway. I have tried several other leave-in argan oil treatments and they have all seemed thick and made my hair feel greasy afterwards. This stuff is very smooth and doesn't leave any film on your hair.

-I've saved the best for last. C. Booth Egyptian Argan Oil Body Butter. This cream contains not only argan oil but also shea and cocoa butters. It has the best scent! It is super moisturizing without the greasy feeling left on my hands from my beloved Nivea. The best part of this product is that I found it at Kmart for less then $6!!! I use it everyday and I'm less then halfway through it after 3 months. My skin thirsts for this product and I will be using it all winter to help combat the dry skin months!

If you have somehow never tried an argan oil product please try one. They smell amazing and argan oil can be used on your face, lips, hair, feet, hands, etc. Anything that needs moisturised argan oil can handle the job!

Warning: argan oil does come from a nut so please use care if you have tree nut allergies. I am allergic to tree nuts and can clearly handle contact with argan oil however I have heard of some people reacting. Be safe hugs and blessings

-Tuffy

Book recommendation!

Cabinet of Curiosities by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child.

One of my favorite things to do with my down time is read. I frequently have the T.V. on but don't pay any attention to it because I'm wrapped up in a blanket and my own little world. One of my favorite worlds to get lost in is the land of  Aloysius Pendergast. He is the main character in most of the Preston Child novels. He is mysterious and old fashioned but wonderful and thoughtful and sweet. He has a dark family history that is only touched on in this book. The Pendergast novels are just the right mix of unbelievably believable. There are the perfect amount of twists and turns. This is the third book with Agent Pendergast. I read this book first but recently reread all of the Pendergast novels in order. If you want to start from the beginning then check out Relic (don't bother with the movie it doesn't even have Pendergast.) But if you want to start with the one most likely to suck you in I suggest Cabinet of Curiosities or Brimstone! Please try these books. They are amazing! Hugs and blessings.
-Steph

Rohto Ice Astringent/Lubricant/Redness Reliever Eye Drops Review.

I recently tried some new eye drops. I must admit I was drawn in by unique packaging. The bottle is oval shaped and fits well in a purse pocket. Eye drops may be a boring subject for most of you, for me however they are very important. I have horrible allergies and until a recent trip to the optometrist I wasn't aware that my eyes do too. I have since tried expensive prescription eye drops and many over the counter drops for allergy relief. My eyes are constantly itchy which makes them swell and I have a bad habit of rubbing them which just starts the itchy back up again because I'm adding more irritants to my eyes. Nothing has ever provided relief to more then one issue. Drops tried until now would help with redness or itchiness or swelling but never all three. Until now. These drops are amazing! They have a cooling sensation which I thought sounded strange but it barely stung a little when first going in. Then all the itchiness was gone. I looked in the mirror a few minutes later and all of the redness was gone. I haven't seen my eyes look this white and healthy in years. I had no swelling anymore. My eyes felt like they were free of debris for the first time in years. They feel just amazing. Perfect mix of moisture and astringent! I can honestly say I don't think I will ever buy any other eye drops. These have even helped get rid of a stye I had. The best part of this all is that where my normal over the counter drops cost between fifteen and seventeen dollars. These bad boys cost me just over five dollars. .4 fl oz. I know I will use these faster because I keep reaching for them anytime my eyes start to itch at all. I use them 2-3 times a day! I never thought my eyes could feel so nice! I highly recommend these to anyone with eyes. Thanks for reading. Hugs and blessings! -Steph

TRESemmé Fresh Start Volumizing Dry Shampoo Review.

I have tried so many dry shampoos and I loved the idea of them but I was about to give up. Then one day in my local grocery store I noticed that they had the TRESemmé Fresh Start Volumizing Dry Shampoo on sale! On sale is my favorite 2 words! So I decided to try it. I have LOTS of hair that is very fine and the top goes limp and lifeless. The bottom of my hair has loose natural curls/waves depending on how I dry it. And the end of my hair are dry and get split ends easily but the roots get super oily. So I have a ton of issues. I tried this dry shampoo after my hair started to look a little dirty. I wasn't super impressed with how it worked. It was definitely better then most but my hair still looked dirty. So then I stumbled upon the tip to spray it where your hair gets oily right after you shower while the hair is still wet. This trick works wonders. My hair takes so much longer to look dirty now. I just spray this down my part and in the front of my hair then I do my leave in conditioner and argan oil at the tips and my hair stays not only clean looking but super volumized for days! I don't think I will ever try a different dry shampoo. I'm hooked. I would give this product a 9 out of 10 just because I had to get creative to make it work for me. But it is not only affordable but it works better then anything else I have tried! I highly recommend this product. It also comes in different varieties! Try it and let me know what you think! Any suggestions on what I should review? Leave them below! Enjoy your day and thanks for reading.

Trying new things

So I am a city girl. In my family I am the princess. I love comfort. I LOVE the internet and books on my phone. I love sitting at home and watching Dance Moms. So last Wednesday I took a huge step for me. I went camping 5 hours from home in the desert. I did this because I have been with my wonderful husband for almost 7 years. In this time I have been asked every year to go with him to the spot where his family fishes every year. However they always go memorial weekend which just so happens to be my birthday weekend most of the time. So being the pampered city girl princess that I am I have passed on the opportunity every time. Last year I planned to go I got time off from work and then my father had a heart attack and a quintuple bypass surgery. So I stayed home. Well this year I agreed to go for their second trip in the year. Which was September 18th. I was excited but also a little nervous about rattlesnakes and also how my asthma and allergies would be. Everyone said that my asthma may be worse at the higher altitude but my allergies should be better since there is much less plant life. So we went. I was so excited I made sure to pack my inhalers and epi pen and all the things I might need. I didn't however bring my CPAP machine. So we got to the spot and it was so different from any place I had ever been to. But so beautiful. I had my seizure dog and she was by my side the whole time. I was loving it. We fished and although I kept getting fish stealing my bait and never landing one. I had so much fun. My husbands aunts gave me tips and even let me reel in some that they hooked. I was so glad I let go of my fears and went. I ended up being there 3 days instead of 5 because of the fact that my throat swelled about half way shut, my nose never stopped bleeding because of the altitude, I couldn't sleep without my CPAP. But to spite all that and having to leave early, I had so much fun. I saw so many new sights. I spent some wonderful quality time with my husbands aunts. I got the dog out of the house and taking the lab mix by water was a very good thing. In short almost everything I worried about going wrong did. But I wouldn't change a second of it! I will always be open to trying new things and I'm hoping to go back next year but I'll bring my CPAP and allergy meds! Have fun and just say yes sometimes. You never know what wonderful things could happen!

Diagnosed

This is quite possibly one of the worst words in the English language. Most of the even worse words tend to hang out with it too. I remember when my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. When my grandpa was diagnosed with a brain tumor. When my mother was diagnosed with bladder cancer and all three times my baby brother was diagnosed with cancer. I remember when I was diagnosed with A.d.h.d. and even though nothing about me had changed in those few minutes. I felt different. I remember being diagnosed with hyper sensitivity disorder. Again nothing had changed but I was more confused by my body and why it overreacts to everything. Why does this word have such a negative impact. In reality it changes nothing other then the fact that you know where you stand now. If my mother and brother weren't diagnosed when they were I wouldn't have them here with me today. So I try to focus on the positive with everything in life. But that's not always so easy. Recently I was diagnosed epileptic and instead of thinking, great they have this figured out and we can make progress towards making me feel better, I instantly thought oh no I can't drive. There goes my independence. I thought of what a burden I will always be on my loved ones. But really I should have been thinking that it's not the worst thing it could have been. I should have been thankful for my wonderful neurologist for all his hard work to find answers. Not resentful that he couldn't snap his fingers and fix me. I have alot more to learn about my newest diagnosis but I will learn and I will pray that God helps me focus on the positives in life. Because really a word is only as powerful as we let it become. So starting today I'm diagnosing myself with positivity syndrome! It's gonna be great!

Grandparents

Today I was out in my garden, harvesting peas. When I came in and started to get the peas out of the pods I was almost immediately brought to tears. It has been almost twenty years since my hands smelled like a garden and fresh peas. It reminded me of all of the days I loved growing up. Spending the whole day in the garden with my grandpa then coming in and helping my grandma turn all that we grew into amazing nutritious meals. I have always been a city girl but I have always had my grandparents house just about a mile away and it was an amazing place. We had a pool, a huge garden, a hexagonal  picnic table built around a huge tree. We had kid sized gardening tools so we could help our grandpa. We had a huge baseball field and a smaller field closer to the house where we could play and grandma could still keep an eye on us. I have very few bad memories of this house and my grandparents in general. They weren't perfect but to me they were just what I needed. My gramps was superman in my eyes. I was his little princess and I was always the one who wanted to help him with his chores. My grandma N. Was the one who kept me calm. She showed me how to crochet and cook and bake. She taught the tomboy how to be a little girl. My husband appreciates all that she taught me on a regular basis. I wonder if everyone is as lucky as I am. Does everyone love their grandparents as much as I did? I hope so I miss them everyday especially when I smell rose perfume or fresh shucked corn  or like today peas from the garden. But I hope they are looking down on me and happy that I smile when these moments bring them back to me. I used to cry everytime. But I've learned to be thankful for the time I did have with them. Grandpa A. And Grandma N. I love you. And I miss you daily.

8 simple rules for dating my middle aged mother.

So I am 30 years old and my parents have been separated since I was 5 and divorced since I was 6. My mother is one of my favorite people in the world! I know everyone has to love their mom but mine is particularly wonderful. She's one of my best friends. I call her every single night of my life that I'm not at her house. She is a cancer survivor of a rare aggressive form of cancer. I have taken care of her since her diagnosis which was when I was 13 years old. She has recently begun dating a man who she has known since before I or my brothers ever existed. Therefore I need to lay down some ground rules.

1. I must always remain her #1 priority. My brothers have gotten used to it. I'm the princess deal with it or be on your way

2. Break her heart and I will sick a legion of her adopted children on you. My husband and brothers are strong men but in case they're not enough she has "adopted" many of our friends. Many of whom have military training. All of whom can hunt. Keep that in mind.

3. Respect her. Even jokingly disrespecting her will never be okay in my book. She is to be treasured. Always.

4. We are huge college football fans. You are a fan of our rival team. You cannot convert us. I will always cheer on my team. And we should probably not talk much around civil war time.

5. I don't mind helping her get ready for dates or watching her dog when you guys go somewhere for the weekend. However, I must be able to reach her by phone at all times. She's fragile and I check on her a lot.

6. We haven't met yet so a tip for impressing me. Don't be too quiet. Quiet people freak me out. I need to know that you're not secretly a crazy person. So the more  awkward silences the more I tend to think you're somehow planning my demise.

7.  She completely tortured me for a while when I was dating a guy she didn't like. So even if I do like you (which must happen) I will be getting some payback on her. Don't take it personally I've been waiting years and deserve my revenge :)

8. If she deems you worthy then that's already a point in your favor. Treat her well and we should get along splendidly. Much like most parents with their children, nobody will ever be good enough for her in my eyes. But I'd make it a goal to try anyway.

Momma is precious and amazing and deserves the best. Stick to these rules and all will be well in the kingdom. Don't ever forget I'm the princess and she's the queen!

Operation Honeymoon

I married my husband/best friend on August 22, 2009. Everyday since has been a hectic wonderful whirlwind. I want so badly to give him the honeymoon we never had. I've always had this idea that by our 5th anniversary I would be able to pull together a honeymoon. I'm hoping that with the help of this site and people who can afford to help. I may be able to surprise him with a dream honeymoon. We would love to go to Florida or Ireland. Hawaii would be another great option but I'd even love a vacation to Seattle. One of our favorite places to go together. He would love New York or Boston or Georgia. I'd just love to be able to do this. If you feel inclined to help THANK YOU!!! If you can't afford to then we understand completely. This isn't a need but I would love to get to make this dream come true and make some wonderful memories. Thanks for your support! hugs to all!   Any great ideas for travel deals are appreciated! I'd love to hear your favorite travel memories/destinations! 
Here's a link to help!
http://www.gofundme.com/2ah5hg

Me days

I grew up in the house where everyone gathered. My mom was the cool mom and there was almost always extra people in our house. We have always teased my mom about taking in strays whether that be cats or dogs or lizards or teen moms with no place to go or that friend that annoyed the heck out of me. No matter what they we're always welcome in our home as long as they were respectful. So growing up in that house that always had 4-9 people living there and guests all day, I picked up the habit of serving everyone. I'd make tacos and we'd all have a movie night or stew and then a bonfire. Whatever we did I always made sure everyone was fed and felt at home. So when my husband and I got our first apartment it was so hard for me to adjust. I had to have friends or my brothers or mother over at least twice a week. No matter how tired I was I just wasn't comfortable unless people were in my house with me. What can I say I'm a primate I'm social. But what surprised me came after we moved to our farm. I knew people weren't going to drive all the way out here twice a week for dinner no matter what I cooked them. So I took the time to get to know me. I have always been crazy independent. One of my first sentences was, "No, Mommy, I do it!" I have always been able to do stuff by myself and that's good but I never wanted to be alone. Not relationship wise. I never had the time to worry about that before I met my husband. But actually physically alone I just didn't do. So I decided to have a "Me" day. I drove to the city that I'm from spent time at the mall, window shopped, drove by where I grew up and my grandparents old house. To my surprise I had an amazing day. No plan nobody to give input on where to go. Just did whatever I felt like all day. I came home and was noticeably happier for days. So my advice to those social beings out there. Try a "Me" day spend some time getting to know you. You may surprise yourself. Me myself and I have our me days about once a month now. I'm still little miss hostess but I'm a happier more well adjusted one! Love and hugs, -Steph

My First Review Diamond Candles Desire Candle

So I heard about diamond candles through YouTube. I was immediately intrigued. Each candle contains a ring worth anywhere from $10 to $5,000. I wondered how they could protect the rings. I wondered how could the ring possibly fit, I wondered if the candles were good quality, etc.  Well I finally broke down and ordered one. I decided to get the Desire candle because it said that it smelled like men's cologne. It arrived perfectly protected in the box. I was immediately impressed when I pulled it out. It is beautiful it smells amazing and I couldn't wait to find the ring inside. It burns so well. no birthday candle smell when you blow it out. In about 2 hours I was able to get the ring out with a metal nail file and tweezers. I wouldn't recommend being that impatient as I nearly burned myself several times. I got the ring out and it was perfectly protected sealed in a plastic bag and then wrapped in foil. I opened it up and it was the beautiful ring pictured above. I love it. It isn't even one of the expensive ones but wow I love it. I have always wanted a Claddagh ring, being Irish, and now I have this beautiful one. I lucked out as this ring perfectly fits my ring finger. I highly recommend trying these candles. And if you go through my link you will get $5 off. The scents are amazing and I can't wait to try more! I'll continue to post reviews about each one as I go! Good luck in your diamond search!! Feel free to comment on which one you try and what kind of ring you get! Love and hugs! -Steph

My link to get $5 off: http://my.cndl.es/x/5XNBb

Thirty

Today I turn thirty years old. I have been really anxious about this up until yesterday. Then all of the sudden I was super excited. I have never thought thirty was old but not being in my twenties anymore is weird. I still don't consider myself a "grown up" but I guess I am. I have bills and work and deal with lots of grown up things. but I never considered my self an actual adult. I've always felt like just a slightly more mature child. I'll most likely still feel like that at 40 and 50 and so on. I don't know why we have to get older but I know that I appreciate every day I'm given. Every person in my life has made me who I am today. Some people in a good manner and some have taught me what I don't want to be and also to be stronger. So a few hours in I'm loving being 30. and I know when I turn 40 I'll be missing today so I'm going to enjoy all the wonderful things about being 30 today. :) Hugs and Love -Steph

I get that from my mother.

There are so many things I can say I get from my mother. People say that all the time. Normally it's used as a negative. I have bad joints. I get that from my mother. I have thin hair. I get that from my mother. I take forever to forgive someone once I've decided I don't like them. I get that from my mother. But there are so many wonderful things I get from her. Because of her I am overly emotional but I've made amazing bonds with so many people because I love even more deeply then I hate. I try not to pre-judge someone. I get that from my mother. I don't see a homeless person asking for money and think to my self that it's ok not to help because some of them use it on drugs and alcohol. Instead I see someone who needs help and if I have the means to help them then I do. It's not my business how they spend it or what they've done to get there. My character is the only thing I can control and it makes me feel good to help. I get that from my mother. I will stop and say a prayer when I see an ambulance pass me. I get that from my mother. I am always willing to discuss my beliefs and religion with friends. And listen to their views too. I never feel less secure in my faith by learning about other religions. If anything I feel more secure in finding the common threads in each religion. I am confident that nothing will shake my faith. I get that from my mother. So next time I look at my thin peeling fingernails or the bump on my nose, I will think, I get that from my mother and smile. <3

What to do?

Well this past Tuesday my maternal grandmother passed away. She had been sick for a long time. The doctors had told us her time was coming to an end. We knew pretty much what day it would happen. What I didn't expect was the instant hole. When my paternal grandfather died I expected this hole. He was my superman and only positive male role model growing up. But I didn't expect this with my grandma. She was, well there is really no other way to put it, cantankerous. She was out and out mean sometimes and I many time wondered why she was so angry. She also played favorites. For some reason I was her favorite grandchild. She even told me I was her pride and joy and the apple of her eye. She never said anything like this to my mother. They had a rough relationship. Grandma had a rough relationship with most people. She could be very sweet in public which made it all the more painful to her family when she mistreated us. But later in life as she started to feel her age more she tried harder. Sometimes unsuccessfully but she tried. I spent many days playing mediator between her and other family members. Or fixing her computer because no one else would. On her good days I felt very loved she always told me I was beautiful and we talked about books and religion. We never talked politics and when we did I patiently listened while disagreeing in my head. She was an amazing but far from perfect person. She said things that we're hurtful to people more then she should. She made mom cry ( a #1 no no in my book) several times. But towards the end as her heart began to give out she would ask for my mom. All this time they fought but there was amazing UNCONDITIONAL love in both there hearts. Once grandma got to where she needed daily care. We moved her into an amazing adult foster care place. Mom visited everyday. Mom would plan everything around getting to see grandma. She would go over to sit with her during dinner and stay to put her to bed. Grandma eventually forgot my name and began calling me "So beautiful" as a name. Which I tried to get everyone to call me but they didn't go for it. When she forgot my moms name she just said. My baby. I loved watching their love grow. I loved soaking in the moments. Grandma knew she was dying but took it with a grain of salt like the true Irish lady she was. She'd say things like, "When I'm gone how long do you think God will let me follow you around your farm?" I said "Grandma I love you but that's creepy you just walk into that light when it's time and don't look back." She smiled her mischievous smile and we all laughed about her being my galloping ghost. When she passed my mom was there holding her hand. It was peaceful. I will miss her. There is a hole. 5 days later we found out that my maternal  grandfather died of pneumonia. My mother lost both parents in 5 days. There is now a bigger hole. I don't know that anyone will ever read my blog but if you do and you pray please pray for my grandparents and my mother who has a hole in her heart that I just can't mend. Love and hugs
-Steph

First post ever!!

     
       So this is my first ever blog post. I've wanted to start a blog for a while now. It's very therapeutic to get your thoughts out. Even if nobody ever reads them. I guess my first post should be about who I am and what I love. Well I'm Stephanie a girl who was born and raised in the capital city of my state. I have always loved the hustle and bustle of city life. When I was in my early twenties I met my husband. He has always lived in a very small town in the middle of nowhere. All there here where he was raised is farm after farm.

      I married my husband in 2009. and we moved out here to run his family farm in 2011. At first I hated it here. It was dead silent all the time. Then anytime you tried to sleep the train would go by and wake you right up. It took a while and I don't even know when or how it happened but I now love this place. It's home. I frequently sit in front of our big picture window reading books or just staring out and enjoying nature. I'm hoping to plant a large garden this year. So there may be some posts about gardening. I'm always up for any tips and help from anyone. We have cattle. Which used to seem so rare to me that when I would pretend I was a zookeeper as a child I had everything from sloths to cows and ducks in my pretend zoo. We used to have ducks on the farm but they we're taken by predators. We are hoping to get ducks again and keep them in our backyard so they can reach the river but also go into a pen at night to be safe and warm. 

     In addition to being a farmer I am a very girly girl. I love all things pink. I adore going shopping and buying purses and shoes. I love date nights with the hubby. I have no kids yet but we are praying hard that we will eventually be blessed with children. We have what we call our part time kiddo. She is six years old and she is my best friends daughter. They used to live with us and we have always loved her like she was our own kid and always will!

     We both work full time but we have to drive 45 minutes each way to work. We are very busy. Luckily though, where I work is the same city that my mom, and one of my brothers lives. and my dad, step-mom, and little brother aren't far from there. I'm very close to my family. I'll be 30 this year and I still talk to my mother everyday. My older brother and I act like twins even though we're just over a year apart in age. My little brother I treat like part brother part son. I'm very protective of him. My mom had cancer when I was 13 and I took over the household. I think that is why we are all so close. 

     Health-wise I have pretty bad luck. I'm hyper sensitive which my doctor said basically means that my body overreacts to everything. Stress can make me super sick for days, caffeine in high amounts can make my heart race until I pass out, etc. I of course catch every single bug that is passed around and if it makes most people sick for 3 days I'm down for at least a week. With all that though, they don't call me Tuffy for no reason. I am stubborn when it comes to my health and resting. I tell myself I can do anything. I'm a very positive happy person most of the time. and also I have a high tolerance for physical pain. 

     I am always willing to listen to a friend and I love meeting new people. I would love to be able to travel more and I'm hoping to eventually be able to afford to have a honeymoon in Ireland with my husband. (We never got a honeymoon) If you made it through this whole boring about me post then well done. give yourself a cookie. Thanks for reading. Sending you love and hugs! 

                                                                                                         -Stephanie