8 simple rules for dating my middle aged mother.

So I am 30 years old and my parents have been separated since I was 5 and divorced since I was 6. My mother is one of my favorite people in the world! I know everyone has to love their mom but mine is particularly wonderful. She's one of my best friends. I call her every single night of my life that I'm not at her house. She is a cancer survivor of a rare aggressive form of cancer. I have taken care of her since her diagnosis which was when I was 13 years old. She has recently begun dating a man who she has known since before I or my brothers ever existed. Therefore I need to lay down some ground rules.

1. I must always remain her #1 priority. My brothers have gotten used to it. I'm the princess deal with it or be on your way

2. Break her heart and I will sick a legion of her adopted children on you. My husband and brothers are strong men but in case they're not enough she has "adopted" many of our friends. Many of whom have military training. All of whom can hunt. Keep that in mind.

3. Respect her. Even jokingly disrespecting her will never be okay in my book. She is to be treasured. Always.

4. We are huge college football fans. You are a fan of our rival team. You cannot convert us. I will always cheer on my team. And we should probably not talk much around civil war time.

5. I don't mind helping her get ready for dates or watching her dog when you guys go somewhere for the weekend. However, I must be able to reach her by phone at all times. She's fragile and I check on her a lot.

6. We haven't met yet so a tip for impressing me. Don't be too quiet. Quiet people freak me out. I need to know that you're not secretly a crazy person. So the more  awkward silences the more I tend to think you're somehow planning my demise.

7.  She completely tortured me for a while when I was dating a guy she didn't like. So even if I do like you (which must happen) I will be getting some payback on her. Don't take it personally I've been waiting years and deserve my revenge :)

8. If she deems you worthy then that's already a point in your favor. Treat her well and we should get along splendidly. Much like most parents with their children, nobody will ever be good enough for her in my eyes. But I'd make it a goal to try anyway.

Momma is precious and amazing and deserves the best. Stick to these rules and all will be well in the kingdom. Don't ever forget I'm the princess and she's the queen!