Speechless

There are very few things in this world that shock me or make me speechless. I feel silly that the thing that has done this is the death of my 92 year old grandpa. People say he was 92 that was a good long life or you had to expect it he was 92. Well sorry to tell you I knew it was a possibility but I never expected it. See I always thought grandpa would live to be 110 at least. I thought he would live long enough to tell my kids stories. But now I have to tell them. I know that he had a bad heart. But he lived through pearl harbor and Normandy I thought nothing could take him down. I told him every night, "I'll see you in the morning." Never thinking that someday that wasn't going to be true. I started out this year with 3 grandparents and I now have none. I can't even begin to process my feelings. We have family staying with us and until everyone leaves and my husband and I have to face the reality of living day to day without him in our home. I don't think I will process this. Right now I feel like it's not my place to cry. I'm surrounded by people who were raised by this man. I've had him on my life only seven years. I remember when I was first dating my husband, Grandpa would call me "the girl with the sweet voice." I tried to convince Luke not to tell him my real name so we could keep that going. He noticed every new outfit or hairdo. He could always be counted on to tell you how "purdy" you were. I being the ham I am would do anything to make him giggle. I'd slowly lean over and bite my husbands arm during dinner just to make grandpa laugh. We loved watching Beavers games together. Grandpa mostly loved it because I was hollering and hopping up and down while they were winning and lying on my face pouting when they were loosing. On gamedays that I worked he'd complain that he wasn't going to be able to tell how the game was going if I wasn't running around the house. I'm going to miss him so much. I'm so scared for when it finally hits me that he's not just gone fishing. I truly feel like I could sit silently in the corner for days. But that's not very me. Maybe I'll watch an old beaver game. Grandpa I miss you.

2013 a year in review

Well as with most years 2013 has had some huge ups and some pretty big downs. My two still living grandparents died 3 days apart from each other in March. That was the roughest part of my year. My husband lost his job and has had trouble finding a new one. But I turned 30 and got a trip to the zoo filled with great memories. I found out I'm going to be an aunt. I got trained in the pharmacy at work. The beginning of the year my health was very bad and it felt like it just kept getting worse but recently my health has been improving. I'm having less seizures, less migraines, and less kidney stones. My family has had decent health. No major family feuds.  I think in general it's been a great year. I have a very dear friend expecting a baby any day now and I can't wait for her arrival. If she shows up in the next few days then I will have one more thing to feel blessed for in 2013. If not then she'll have to be my first thankful thing of 2014! I try every year to let myself mourn the poor things that happened that year but I also try to think of the things that I feel so blessed for. I got my 2 precious kitties this year. I gained more friends then I lost. I feel like my life is moving towards a very positive place. I don't make new years resolutions because I don't like to set myself up for disappointment but I'm hoping to keep the happiness going in 2014. I hope to drink more water, focus on mine and my husbands health and eating habits better. I want to plant an even bigger garden this year. If those things don't happen it's not the end of the world but I'd like to try to improve. I think as long as we're always striving to get better then the world will keep improving. So weather you make resolutions or not I wish you all a very happy 2014!

Snow Cookies.

This is the easiest and most customisable cookie recipe I have ever come across. This recipe has 4 ingredients. It is super easy to make. I also love how kid friendly this recipe is. It can be a bit messy but I think that makes it even more kid friendly. You will need.

2 eggs

1 8oz tub of cool whip

1 box of cake mix (any flavor you want!!)

powdered sugar

All you do is mix one box of cake mix, two eggs and a tub of cool whip in a bowl. Then once that is well mixed you get a bowl half full of powdered sugar and take a dollop of the dough drop it in the powdered sugar. Roll it around until it is completely covered and put it on a cookie sheet. The way I see this recipe most is with lemon cake mix but I use whatever I'm in the mood for. For Christmas I made a batch of gingerbread snow cookies. A batch of double chocolate fudge and my favorite cherry chip (which turn out Christmas colored if you add green food coloring!!!) These are SO GOOD! The perfect cookies for Santa!

Dogs or Cats?

I feel like everyone needs to define everyone else too much. You're either a dog person or a cat person. A liberal or a conservative. You either love or hate cilantro. When in reality I think there is a lot of people who fall into the grey areas. I love cilantro so that one's black and white. I am mostly liberal with a few conservative viewpoints. So that's mostly cut and dry for me but Cat person or Dog person. How could I choose? I have always had both in my life. I love cats. They have a diva attitude like me. They are always good snuggle buddies. They do hilarious things like trying to walk vertically. My cats can say mom, dad, and out. They can also say yes and no. A cat like a baby is far more entertained with a box then with the contents of the box most of the time. I can hold my cats like babies. They are good listeners. But dogs. They are never anything less then crazy enthusiastic to see you. They keep you warm at night. They always put your needs first. They are selfless piles of love. My big dog can tell me when I'm going to have a seizure. My little dog has the most adorable smooshy puggle face in the world. I feel like every animal I have had was meant to be in my life. Dog, Cat, Duck, Rabbit, Cow, Rat, or Bearded Dragon. They have all come into my life for a reason and there is no way I could say that I'm more aligned with one type of pet. So sorry people I'm not a cat or dog person I'm a catdogcowlizardamphibianbatrodentduckfishetc. person. I love them all! Don't make me choose. or I'll make you choose which eye you'd rather have me poke :p

D.I.Y. Coconut Oil Cookie Scented Body Scrub

This year I was worried I couldn't get Christmas gifts for everyone I wanted to. So I decided to try making gifts. Out of that came this awesome body scrub. I use this to exfoliate after my shower gel because it is extremely moisturizing, It leaves my skin feeling so soft. Plus it smells great. I can't eat cookies because of food allergies but I can smell like them with this scrub. It is super easy to make. You will need:

• 14 oz. of coconut oil
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 cup white sugar
• 2 tablespoons vanilla 
• 1 tablespoon cinnamon
• 1 table spoon salt
• 1 wide mouthed mason jar or other heat proof container

I started by warming the coconut oil until it was completely liquefied. I did this by placing the jar into a bowl of hot water until it poured out then warming it in a large pan on the lowest heat just until everything was liquid. Then I added all of the other ingredients and stirred well. I left it sitting on the counter and stirred every 15 minutes for about an hour so that it didn't separate. Once it is hard enough that it was difficult to stir it's done! I keep it in my bathroom and use it to exfoliate my hands, lips, feet, or body. Even after just one use you will notice a difference! Try it and let me know what you think! 

-Love and blessings, Tuffy!

One of those days

I try to be an always happy and positive person but there are still days when just all the negative things hit me at once. Today is one of those days. I have an anxiety disorder but bringing myself to actually take the medicine is even a difficult task. I feel like a failure every time I take those pills. I try to drink herbal peppermint tea to calm down. I try watching funny videos. I try sniffing eucalyptus oil. Sometimes it helps but days like today it doesn't. I won't go into whats bothering me today because it's so many things that I know in the grand scheme of things don't matter. I know I should focus on things I'm thankful for but days like this it's so hard to do. That's not to say I'm not thankful for all I have but for instance I could have all the money in the world and the best friends and a great job and my wonderful husband and great pets but I would still be thinking in the back of my mind that it is all great but would be better if I had my Gramps. It's not always about missing my Gramps but I do miss him so much. Some days it's just hard to not feel like a failure. So my game plan for today is this pointless blog, then I'm going to watch a kids movie drink tea and pray on it. Lets hope the big guy upstairs can spare a moment to fill me with his love and warmth. Any suggestions on overcoming anxiety are welcome! Hope everyone is having a blessed day!
-A less Tuff today Tuffy

Moisturizer with a purpose

DDF® Wrinkle Resist Plus Pore Minimizer Moisturizing Serum

This stuff is amazing. I tend to have oily skin and used to be terrified to moisturize. Now that I have reached the magic 30. I have thought a lot more about how to keep my skin looking younger. This stuff is amazing it feels super nourishing and goes on smooth. It also sinks right in and doesn't leave my skin feeling greasy. My favorite thing about this product it how amazing it smells. I look forward to moisturizing every night now. I have noticed a difference in the appearance of my pores and if I could afford it this would be my only moisturizer. I would use this morning noon and night. It sells on Birchbox for $85 but a little goes a long way. I have had my sample from them for 2 months and I'm sadly almost out but it has lasted longer then any other sample I've received from them.If you can't afford to buy this I suggest you try Birchbox.com They have amazing samples and it only costs $10 a month. If you sign up under my link you will help me earn points towards buying my new skincare addiction. ;) Here's the link. http://birch.ly/1fm3804 A Birchbox membership makes a great Christmas gift!

Grown Up's Snow Day a List of Pro's and Cons.

Yesterday and today Oregon has seen some unseasonably cold weather. Tonight it is currently 7 degrees at my house. I also happen to live on a farm in the middle of nowhere on a very dangerous road even when it's not icy. Now I can't decide if I like snow days or not. Sure as a kid they were just great but as an adult I go back and forth between loving and hating the white stuff. Here is a list of pro's and cons.

PRO
I get more snuggle time with my cats.

CON
I am allergic to my cats.

PRO
My house is warm

CON
My pipes are not.

PRO
I can catch up on my reading.

CON
Nobody pays me to read.

PRO
I get to spend more time with grandpa.

CON
I hear the same snow day stories about 70 times.

PRO 
I'm much safer not going out on the roads.

CON
I run out of everything and just want to go shopping.

PRO?
Without running water I'm honing my survival skills.

CON?
I apparently can't survive without my husband lifting the heavy water jugs.

PRO
I get to stay on the farm all day

CON
I would have to cross a frozen bridge to see my cows. That is assuming I even leave the house when it's this cold.

PRO
No work.

CON
No work.

PRO
It feels very Christmasy and would be the perfect time to put up our Christmas tree that we wisely bought before it froze.

CON
We weren't wise enough to bring the stand in before it froze so we can't put the tree up until the block of ice in it melts which would happen much quicker if we had warm running water.

So there you go just a short list of some pro's and cons from my Grown Up Snow Day. Tomorrow I have a date with my footie pajamas, my book and the fireside!

Not quite a twin

My older brother and I were born 16 months apart. Since I've been able to walk we've had people assuming we are twins. I feel like I got the best of both worlds. My big bro and I are super close. We have the twin bond. We can always tell what the other one is feeling. He calls me out of the blue almost every time I'm having a horrible day. However a lot of twins are polar opposites where as my brother and I are both super social. We are both content to sit and read for hours or play video games. We are just enough alike to get along. There are ways that we are opposites. I am not a fan of bars but he works at one and loves it. I am a bit more O.C.D. then he is. I show my stress like a little chihuahua where as he tends to silently stew when he gets stressed out.

 I always have people who have young kids close in age ask me if my brother and I are close and if I think it has anything to do with our being just over a year apart in age. I 100% think that we are closer because we grew up as each others first best friends. I think it's possible to be super close even with more of an age difference (my baby brother and I are very close as well) I think being close in age can make it easier to relate to one another. But all in all I think we are all super close because we make a real true effort to be not just siblings but friends. I wish everyone could have that. I adore my brothers. Twinsy and Baby bro. I can't imagine my life without either of them and I'm glad I don't have too!