Who doesn't like nicknames.

So I am the queen of nicknames. I have the normal ones based off of my name, Steph, Stephie, and Stepher. Then I have nicknames I have earned over time, Punkin, Tuff, Tuffy, Tutt, Tutty, Sookie, Pookie, Sookie Sue, Pookie Sue, Pookie bear, Little one, Short Stuff, Princess, Sunshine, Momma Stephie, Aunt Tuff, Hearts,Present, Duck, Etc. The list could go on and on. I love nicknames. It means someone cares enough to think one up for you. but some people don't like nicknames not even the shorter version of their name. which is weird but okay I guess as long as your not biting peoples heads off about it if they accidentally call you by the wrong thing. I mean my advice is always don't be a dick but really people, nicknames are supposed to be an expression of fondness. however, if you are the type of person to bite someones head off about that sort of thing then you deserve no fondness anyway.

Loosing friends

This is something we all go through at some point in our lives. People grow apart, people change, people find out things they don't like in other people. It happens. It is however, never easy, at least in my experience. I have recently had a person who decided she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. Which is fine. Honestly her reasoning was mostly that she doesn't enjoy having anyone around her who doesn't share her exact political views. Also fine. We have known each other about 7 years, but we have never been super close. It's no great loss to my life. However, she is engaged to someone who I have been friends with since high school. This person was very important to me. We were at one point very close friends. I am the one who chose to end this friendship for a few reasons. One I came to the realization that I was doing most of the work maintaining our friendship which isn't cool. I deserve the occasional text or message just to say hi. Also I have been hated by most of his girlfriends. This one I had hoped would be different as she and I were friends way before the two of them met. But she unfortunately just used this to try to find out everything about all his past relationships which she should ask him in my opinion not me. But he was a person I thought I would always be friends with. He's the one who comforted me when I found out a close family member had cancer for the third time. He was there for me when my favorite great aunt died. I thought we would always be friends. That is pretty heartbreaking to realize that it's gone.

But I have decided not to focus on what I lost. One  great friend and one fake friend. I chose to focus on what I have. Which is several lifetime friends. I have other friends who are there for me in the rough times now. I have people who were supportive when I had my cancer scare and these two people weren't in that group. I have an amazing best friend and her whole family has adopted my whole family into their lives. That's pretty amazing. I have an amazing husband who is a better friend to me then anyone else has ever been. So as much as it sucks growing apart from someone. It must be in God's plan and since he can see the big picture and I can't I choose not to be miserable and dwell on this sad thing but rather to spend that time being thankful for all the amazing friends I do have. I have so many friends who are truly happy to be a part of my life I'm not going to mourn over people who chose not to bother. If I'm not good enough for them then they can move along because I'm good enough for me, my family, and my real friends. You all rock!

The real reason I want to have money.

There are so many people out there who want to win the lottery so that they could never work again and travel and all of that. As wonderful as that all would be I think the main things I wish I had money for are to help people. I would love to be able to pay of my mom and my mother-in-law's mortgages. I would love to take them on a trip and to spa's because they both do so much for me and my husband. I would buy my brothers all houses and make sure they had reliable vehicles. I would start a college fund for my baby niece. I would do so much good with more money.

That being said I will most likely never win the lottery. I probably won't become wealthy ever and that's okay. But that doesn't change my attitude. I still want to do everything I can everyday to take away stress from my family. I would love to travel but I always think of all the people who's lives could be made better with the money I would use on a vacation. I want to be able to not spoil but just provide for all my family, and friends. I wish that more people would do good with the money they do have.

So if you are a friend or family member of mine. Just know that I may have no way to financially help you right now. I may never have that. But I'm always here to help trouble shoot. Or even just to listen to what's going on with you. I will live my life giving what I can. Even if all I can give is a smile and some encouraging words!! God Bless you all!

Dogs or Cats?

I feel like everyone needs to define everyone else too much. You're either a dog person or a cat person. A liberal or a conservative. You either love or hate cilantro. When in reality I think there is a lot of people who fall into the grey areas. I love cilantro so that one's black and white. I am mostly liberal with a few conservative viewpoints. So that's mostly cut and dry for me but Cat person or Dog person. How could I choose? I have always had both in my life. I love cats. They have a diva attitude like me. They are always good snuggle buddies. They do hilarious things like trying to walk vertically. My cats can say mom, dad, and out. They can also say yes and no. A cat like a baby is far more entertained with a box then with the contents of the box most of the time. I can hold my cats like babies. They are good listeners. But dogs. They are never anything less then crazy enthusiastic to see you. They keep you warm at night. They always put your needs first. They are selfless piles of love. My big dog can tell me when I'm going to have a seizure. My little dog has the most adorable smooshy puggle face in the world. I feel like every animal I have had was meant to be in my life. Dog, Cat, Duck, Rabbit, Cow, Rat, or Bearded Dragon. They have all come into my life for a reason and there is no way I could say that I'm more aligned with one type of pet. So sorry people I'm not a cat or dog person I'm a catdogcowlizardamphibianbatrodentduckfishetc. person. I love them all! Don't make me choose. or I'll make you choose which eye you'd rather have me poke :p

Not quite a twin

My older brother and I were born 16 months apart. Since I've been able to walk we've had people assuming we are twins. I feel like I got the best of both worlds. My big bro and I are super close. We have the twin bond. We can always tell what the other one is feeling. He calls me out of the blue almost every time I'm having a horrible day. However a lot of twins are polar opposites where as my brother and I are both super social. We are both content to sit and read for hours or play video games. We are just enough alike to get along. There are ways that we are opposites. I am not a fan of bars but he works at one and loves it. I am a bit more O.C.D. then he is. I show my stress like a little chihuahua where as he tends to silently stew when he gets stressed out.

 I always have people who have young kids close in age ask me if my brother and I are close and if I think it has anything to do with our being just over a year apart in age. I 100% think that we are closer because we grew up as each others first best friends. I think it's possible to be super close even with more of an age difference (my baby brother and I are very close as well) I think being close in age can make it easier to relate to one another. But all in all I think we are all super close because we make a real true effort to be not just siblings but friends. I wish everyone could have that. I adore my brothers. Twinsy and Baby bro. I can't imagine my life without either of them and I'm glad I don't have too!

Best Show EVER!!!

I know not everyone will agree with me on this but, I think that the best television show that has ever existed is, The Big Bang Theory, I adore all of the main characters. It has filled the void in my heart left by Friends. It makes me laugh everyday. I relate to all of the characters for different reasons. I honestly think every person in the world should see this show at least once. I have favorite episodes from every single season. It makes Geeky look good and I have always personally loved Geeks. Please if you haven't seen it watch an episode. I suggest the Adhesive Duck Deficiency Or The  Ornithophobia Diffusion. I watch at least one episode a day most of the time! It's a good funny show to watch and de-stress. :) Enjoy! Hugs -Tuffy

Coping

I am in general a very empathetic person. Because of this I have been having a rough week because someone I didn't know took her life. I know many people who cared about her. She was only 15. I cannot imagine what her family is going through. I have had two people close to me take their lives. The first was my adopted brother. The second was a friend and co-worker. I remember feeling like life had stopped. I felt like why is everyone just going on with their daily lives when clearly the world is broken. Death in general is hard. I'm not going to say that it's harder when it's suicide.(I have never had a harder time with anything in my life then when my gramps died of natural causes.) But it is a very different thing when a loved one chooses to take their life. I feel so much for people who have to deal with this horrible thing. They will all go through horrible grief that no matter what anyone does we can't ease there hurting. I wish so badly that I could take their pain away and I find myself saying all the things that everyone said to me like, " I'm so sorry" or "If you need anything call me." I know that I can't change anything or make their pain go away but I feel like I have to let them know that I care. With this type of situation there is almost always someone who says something horribly insensitive. Even with the best intentions there is always someone who comes along with no filter and says something awful. I wish so badly that I could prevent anyone from having to feel this. I would do anything to have taken the pain away from my mom and other brothers and friends from when we lost my brother. I wish he wouldn't have chosen to leave us. I wish I could have stopped him. It's been over a decade since I lost my brother and I always wonder what he would be like now. Would he have kids? A dog? Would he still be into the same things he was? How would I or my brothers be different if we still had him? It has gotten easier as the years passed. I never thought it would but it has. Good memories outweigh the bad. It still stings when I think about the funeral or the day we found out but I just try to refocus on good memories happy times or even when we teased each other like brothers and sisters so often do. I never thought at the time those would turn into fond memories but there was love under all of that teasing. I miss all the people I've lost in my life no matter how they went and I will pray both for this family who lost such a precious girl and for those who ever contemplate taking their lives. I hope with all my heart that they can find hope and live! Hug your loved ones. Pray for those who are filled with despair.

Best friends.

I find this to be a much broader term then some people think. Like I have an all time, for life, always and forever best friend. Then I have my longtime best guy friend. Then I have my newer best guy friend. I have a newer best girl friend. I have my best friend that is a mommy and my best friend and soul mate, my husband. I consider both of my brothers to be some of my best friends because even if I didn't have to I would totally hang out with them if we weren't related. They're cool guys. My mom I talk to nearly everyday and tell her almost everything. She's absolutely one of my best friends. I have an aunt who is not much older then me and totally gets me. She was my maid of honor and totally a best friend. So I think it's great for people who have only one best friend but it's also great having many best friends! I can tell you that if you ask who my true B.F.F. is I'll tell you it's my SaraBear. But her daughter is like a daughter to me and she is no less a best friend then Sara. She's just my best friend who happens to be in elementary school. You never know when you meet someone how important they could end up becoming to you. I think that's one of the great things about life. You can meet someone and think your gonna be friends for years and then then can write you off and end the friendship on down the line. Or you could meet someone and initially think your personalities just don't match up. Then you could slowly grow fonder of them and they can become a lifelong friend. Be open to what and who God sends your way! You never know what joy they can bring to your life! And you can never have too many best friends! Hugs and blessings. -Tuffy