Showing posts with label lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lessons. Show all posts
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Happy Birthday Gramps
Today would have been my Gramp's birthday. We would have thrown him a birthday party. Luke and I would have invited him to the family picnic on Saturday. I think that is the hardest part about when someone you love passes and you have to go through all of their special days without them. I mean who wouldn't want to celebrate him. He was the most amazing man. He was the best Grandpa. He was my main father figure growing up and he rocked it. I still like when I shock my husband because I know how to do some random thing that my Gramps taught me when I was a tomboy. I was thinking this morning that I wish I had something that I did every year on his birthday to remember him. Then I thought about what I did today and I thought he'd be pretty okay with that. See, he loved taking care of the house and getting ready for family gatherings. He loved gardening together. and if he would have lived to meet her he would have loved KayCee and loved that I'm getting ready to have her on the farm. He would have loved the farm and seeing his little Punkin trying to remember how to be okay with having to get dirty. I try to think about what advice he would have when I'm having a rough day. Usually that reminds me to put things into perspective and do what I've got to do. The thing grandpa was best at was being a Grandpa and teaching us all the best lessons. He taught us that the best way to get what we want is to work hard for it. He taught us that if you work hard all day it can be very rewarding to fall asleep in the chair watching T.V. but the most important lesson that he taught us was caring about others and helping anyone if you have the power to do so. I always worry that as the years go by I might forget what his voice sounded like or forget how wonderful his bear hugs were. But I don't think I could ever forget anything about my hero. I miss you Gramps. Happy Birthday!
Friday, May 9, 2014
What cancer taught my family
I have had more then my fair share of family members with cancer. I've even had a couple of pre-cancer scares myself. My grandmother and most of her siblings died of cancer. My mother had a rare aggressive type of cancer when I was 13. My baby brother has fought and beat cancer 3 times. Because of all of this we have had a few lessons we picked up along the way.
The first lesson I remember that cancer taught us is pray often and pray together. God may not answer in exactly the way you want but he will hear you. I remember being with my mom and brothers and sitting in a circle praying anytime there was bad news in the family. Be it a death or a diagnosis. It felt good to know that the people around me knew what I was feeling because they felt the same way. It felt good as a group to give our issues over to God. He has a greater plan and even though I miss the people I've lost I know that they are up there watching all my big moments and that is comforting.
Think positively. I know everyone says that and it's hard to do sometimes. I remember the 3rd time my baby brother was diagnosed just sitting on our back porch and crying for hours. So I know it's hard but a good friend of mine came over and he talked to me. He got me thinking positive and it was like a weight was lifted off of me. When my mom was fighting her cancer most of my memories in the hospital were of us laughing. We did anything we could to keep positive. I remember watching her Iv line get an air bubble and we were thinking isn't there not supposed to be air in your veins. My mom said well I guess we'll find out and we watched it go in and laughed when nothing happened. She spent a lot of her recovery time watching funny shows on T.V. She is now 16 years clear of cancer and we still laugh every time we are together. I know some people who have gotten the diagnosis and given up and they declined very quickly so I will always believe that positive thinking is a big part of healing your body.
Appreciate who and what you have while they are here. You never know when someone you love will get bad news. My mom and I have this thing we say to each other a lot. We say "I love and appreciate you everyday." That way we know that even on the days we don't say it we still feel it everyday.
It's not about you. It sucks to go see your loved one in the hospital and some people are very uncomfortable with it but you don't go for you. You go for them. They need as much support as possible. I have spent many hours in waiting rooms. I got so comfortable at our local hospital surgery ward that they would say hi Steph when I got there with my mom. They didn't even bat an eye as I went to my corner pushed 2 chairs together to make a bed and snuggled up with a C.D. player my blanket and a coloring book. Yes I was a teenager but coloring was my relaxation thing. It still is. They would always offer me a heated blanket and an apple juice because they knew me so well. It was not the most fun times but I went and found ways to be more comfortable so that when my mom woke up she would see me there to support her.
The final thing I think my family learned from cancer is to stop and appreciate the small stuff. My brothers and I are random and weird and spend most of our time laughing when we are together. We learned from all of this to live in the moment when we are together. We have birthday dinners and appreciate each other. We do what we can to make each others lives easier and above all else. We love each other and our time together. We rarely waste time fighting because who knows how much time we have.
So even if you haven't experienced having a loved one with a horrible disease. Please hug and love your family and friends. don't take time for granted. Most of all have fun as often as you can. Make memories. It doesn't matter if you have 5 or 500 more years to make memories you won't regret it. I have never regretted any of mine! Love and be loved. and when something bad happens and you lose someone feel it. Grieve. Let it sink in. and lean on those around you. Maybe someday none of us will have to worry about any of this but even if we didn't I'd still absorb every second I could with my loved ones cause you know I love them :)
The first lesson I remember that cancer taught us is pray often and pray together. God may not answer in exactly the way you want but he will hear you. I remember being with my mom and brothers and sitting in a circle praying anytime there was bad news in the family. Be it a death or a diagnosis. It felt good to know that the people around me knew what I was feeling because they felt the same way. It felt good as a group to give our issues over to God. He has a greater plan and even though I miss the people I've lost I know that they are up there watching all my big moments and that is comforting.
Think positively. I know everyone says that and it's hard to do sometimes. I remember the 3rd time my baby brother was diagnosed just sitting on our back porch and crying for hours. So I know it's hard but a good friend of mine came over and he talked to me. He got me thinking positive and it was like a weight was lifted off of me. When my mom was fighting her cancer most of my memories in the hospital were of us laughing. We did anything we could to keep positive. I remember watching her Iv line get an air bubble and we were thinking isn't there not supposed to be air in your veins. My mom said well I guess we'll find out and we watched it go in and laughed when nothing happened. She spent a lot of her recovery time watching funny shows on T.V. She is now 16 years clear of cancer and we still laugh every time we are together. I know some people who have gotten the diagnosis and given up and they declined very quickly so I will always believe that positive thinking is a big part of healing your body.
Appreciate who and what you have while they are here. You never know when someone you love will get bad news. My mom and I have this thing we say to each other a lot. We say "I love and appreciate you everyday." That way we know that even on the days we don't say it we still feel it everyday.
It's not about you. It sucks to go see your loved one in the hospital and some people are very uncomfortable with it but you don't go for you. You go for them. They need as much support as possible. I have spent many hours in waiting rooms. I got so comfortable at our local hospital surgery ward that they would say hi Steph when I got there with my mom. They didn't even bat an eye as I went to my corner pushed 2 chairs together to make a bed and snuggled up with a C.D. player my blanket and a coloring book. Yes I was a teenager but coloring was my relaxation thing. It still is. They would always offer me a heated blanket and an apple juice because they knew me so well. It was not the most fun times but I went and found ways to be more comfortable so that when my mom woke up she would see me there to support her.
The final thing I think my family learned from cancer is to stop and appreciate the small stuff. My brothers and I are random and weird and spend most of our time laughing when we are together. We learned from all of this to live in the moment when we are together. We have birthday dinners and appreciate each other. We do what we can to make each others lives easier and above all else. We love each other and our time together. We rarely waste time fighting because who knows how much time we have.
So even if you haven't experienced having a loved one with a horrible disease. Please hug and love your family and friends. don't take time for granted. Most of all have fun as often as you can. Make memories. It doesn't matter if you have 5 or 500 more years to make memories you won't regret it. I have never regretted any of mine! Love and be loved. and when something bad happens and you lose someone feel it. Grieve. Let it sink in. and lean on those around you. Maybe someday none of us will have to worry about any of this but even if we didn't I'd still absorb every second I could with my loved ones cause you know I love them :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)