Dear Gramps

Dear Gramps,

        You have been gone for years now. I still miss you everyday. I wonder if you knew how much you meant to me. I hope that you did. I had such an unstable childhood but the one thing I could always count on was you. My brothers and I were getting rained on waiting for the bus. You showed up the next weekend and built us a bus stop. I wanted a goat and there you were to build a goat pen with me. You were always there when we needed you. Now you're in heaven and I'd like to think you're still there when I need you. I think about what you would think of me living on a farm. I think you would be pleased. I was always such a city girl but I loved following you around so much that I would go do "boy things" as long as it meant time with you. I think that you were the first one to see the country princess side of me.

        I used to cry every time I thought of you. I missed you then and I miss you now. It hasn't lessened over the years but I have learned to live with missing you. I will always miss you. Lately though I smile when I think of you. I remember getting the pool ready every year with you and I smile. When I'm tending my garden I remember helping you with the garden and eating all the ground cherries before we could even bring them to the house. My husband was surprised by that because he didn't think I'd eat something fresh from the dirt. All of these memories make me smile.

        If I could have one more day with you I would tell you about all the times since you've gone that I wished more then anything that you were with me. I would show you my wedding pictures. I would tell you that I love you so much and I would get as many of your big bear hugs as I could. I'd ask you about Grandma and Alice and all the other loved ones up there. I would most of all thank you for helping me to become who I am. You always made me feel like I was important. You made me feel like it was okay to be the sassy girl I was and not to always just think about others. You are a huge part of who I am and I love you so much. I wish I had one more day with you but I know that I would wake up the next day and have to go through the mourning process all over again. I know I would always want just one more day. Sending hugs and kisses to heaven Gramps. I miss you.

                                                                              -Punkin