Processing

Well the family left today. We had a nice visit with them but now my husband and I are left to process. How do we begin to live in this house without grandpa? What will we do without him here to take care of? I feel like time has slowed down. I can't bring myself to look at or sit in his chair. I think of all the questions I wanted to ask him about the farm. I try to remember everything he taught me. but mostly I'm trying not to cry so I don't make my husband sad. I have had a bad migraine ever since he passed. I don't know when I will fully break down but I feel like when I do I will feel better. I know I need to cry about it but I just can't bring myself to do it. I keep going and cleaning or doing laundry to keep my mind off of it. I promise to have a more positive blog post soon. Sorry