Friskies Pull 'n Play Cat Treats Review

I know a cat treat review seems like an odd post but oh my gosh, my cats love these. I only have 2 cats who like treats the others prefer to just stick to cat food. But my 2 cats that like treats go crazy for these. They try to open the package themselves. They cant wait for me to peal apart the strings. As far as the play part goes they maybe swat at it once before they eat it. Because they are essentially long string shaped soft cat treats. But Haze and Luna very much approve!

New Tradition for the New Year!!!

I HATE RESOLUTIONS! There I said it. I know so many people who disagree. I will agree that when followed through on they are wonderful and that even making a start in the right direction is something. However, I think this whole tradition of writing a list of all these things you could do to be better right after you just survived pulling off Christmas, is just asking for a little seasonal depression. So, What I would like to start doing is every year on my blog at some point in January (Which is an emotional month for my family) I'm going to write a list of what makes me happy/ what I'm thankful for. I know we do thankfulness at Thanksgiving but I'm thankful everyday! So here is my list for

January 2016

• I am so happy everyday on this amazing farm/ranch I get to live on!
• I am so Blessed to have such a wonderful family biologically and the ones who had to have me because I married Luke. I love my Edwards/Quirk family so much! 
• Getting to be so close to your mother is truly a blessing I will soak up all the joy and laughter I can from her
• Having someone who is truly like a twin and like the other half of who you are is an amazing thing that not a lot of people get to experience.
• No matter how much time I spend apart from my baby brother he is one of my best friends and one of the silliest people on earth.
• My Hubbles, Hammy, Lulu, Luka, Luker, etc, my husband is my strength. He holds me up so I can feel free enough to be my wacky self. He keeps me sane through all of the crazy medical issues he is my whole world and I love him so so so much. 
• I'm grateful that the Lord is such a part of my life and in the way he is. I feel like I have a very personal relationship with the lord and I do feel like he is with me everyday especially on this farm. 
• I am so thankful for the what my family calls "Snow White Syndrome" basically I'm very at ease with animals even wild animals. It's an amazing thing getting to live a life where squirrels stop and stand on your shoe to eat a nut because they aren't afraid of you. I'm so happy that I am somehow able to put them at ease!
• I'm of course thankful for my Friends Especially my bestie who shares her amazing kid with us and I'm thankful for that kid who makes my day every time I see her. 
• And of course my Beautiful and perfect niece I am so grateful that I was able to marry into this family so I could be your aunt because Clary Ada you make me smile so much just by thinking about you. 

See easy and that list made me feel happy and accomplished!

Anxiety Wave

Right now, at this very moment I'm fine and content but it's because I'm not sleeping it's 3:57am and I'm up snuggling cats and blogging instead of sleeping. I know that's not normal. I know that especially since I have a bad infection in my body and I have taken some nighttime cold medicine, I should be in snoozey town. But I'm not because today I had a panic surge. That's the best way I can describe it . I do have anxiety and panic attacks and usually they come on quickly and go away just as fast leaving the shell of shaken me behind. What happened today, which does, on occasion happen to me, is I get stuck. I feel it coming on days before. I'm cranky which is not typically my personality. I'm
easily offended which is my personality but not this extreme but then it's like I can feel it building and I know something is going to happen and I will be powerless to stop it.

In these times I mainly just hope so much that I don't hurt those I love because I'm a feisty girl already and when I'm grumpy I can hurt feelings. I hope that those who love me know that I honestly try my best to hold up the crumbling dam that is my I don't know sanity? comfort zone? kindness? I'm not sure what I'll loose if I let it crumble but I'm doing my best to fight my anxiety. If you have invited me to things and I don't come I'm sorry. Sometimes my anxiety wins and sometimes my cats are way cuter then drunk people. But, that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate every invite. I do. and I hope someday to be able to go hang out with coworkers other then my few that I always have.

I don't know why I'm writing this. It's 4 am and I'm melancholy but I'll get a start on my day and I'll see my hubby off to work and then who are we kidding I'll probably nap and my anxiety has likely just ruined my sleeping pattern. GRRRR. Lol. I hope all is well with all my lovely people almost as much as I hope that one of you won the lottery! :)

Mental notes to myself,

Sometimes I have to stop and listen to my inner voice about what to do or more often what not to do here are some examples,

• When the man with approximately 3 teeth turns and yells, "get over here and fix this retarded thing." While you are helping another customer, Do not ask him if he means the machine or himself. Do not grab him by the ear and tell him that is not an appropriate word to say. Do finish with your customer and kindly go tell toothy what stupid thing he did to mess up the machine. 
• When a teeny tiny man from a far off land snaps his fingers at me and then points beside himself for me to come like I'm a dog, DO NOT   DISEMBOWEL THE CUSTOMER. Do not slap his face and say we don't snap at princesses. Do not warn the woman he is with to run far and fast away from him. Do give him your best what did you just do to me? look abd then go help him then get as far away as you can so you can resist the urge to slap him. Oh and Don't point out that the giant man nearby is my husband who would happily squash him like a bug for mistreating the princess. 
• When your husband says I'll do it tomorrow. assume he means next week and if possible do it yourself. Do not text him 12 times tomorrow asking if he's done it yet. The answer will just anger you so just do it yourself it's easier. 
• When people are over and looking at your ducks and chickens and the ducks or chickens get frisky, Do not yell no rape in front of mommy. People will think you're weird even though you think it's a wonderful training method. 
• When your husband leaves clothes strewn about the house like he's a teenage girl who does 17 wardrobe changes a day, Do not call him a teenage girl. Just check the pockets and throw it in the laundry. AGAIN
• When you are working and people keep having unexpected items in the bagging area and you keep showing them that if they pick up the last item they put down and then check the screen to see if they scanned it which they didn't but yet they keep doing that every other item. It is not okay to ask if they have any common sense or short term memory.
• When the lady who steals whole carts full of stuff on other peoples watch but knows I watch her, comes up with a full cart then sees that I'm working sco and turns around to put back all the stuff she was gonna steal and comes to pay for the 4 items she could afford. It's not okay to yell BOOM NOT ON MY WATCH LADY. It is okay however to grin when she glares at you because you know that security has her picture and times she has stolen stuff because you write down what days and times she normally comes in . You're gonna get caught!!

My brain is a little more sassy then what I let show, which is saying something cause everyone knows I'm a sassball. :)

FAMILY

It's been a long time since I've blogged. If you know me you know most of the reasons why. I'm going to try to get beck in to the swing of things beginning with the most important.

Okay, so if you would have asked me 10 years ago there is no way I would have been able to imagine my family the way it is today. This person has disowned that person. This person disowned me but still checks in when she hears if something really bad has happened. (So, I know she still loves me somewhere in there.) It's a mess. I think this is why we all mourned the loss of my Gramps so much because when a family looses the leader they loose themselves somewhat too. Sure when he was around people still had fights and disliked other members of the family but they put it aside for his sake.

I miss feeling like I had the best family in the world. I miss the time when I couldn't imagine a month without going to Salem and seeing all of my aunts and most of my cousins and even some extended family. I miss when thinking about a certain immediate family member made me happy and proud it didn't make me cry.

The thing is with my family sometimes it's big stuff but more often then not it's little tiny things that start arguments and lead to huge bits of time not talking to one another. Why?

This must just be me but I have had some hugely bad things happen to me at the hands of a family member. But I have never disowned a family member. I love my family and in one way or another even though they don't all see it in each other they are all pretty cool. I have Some amazing, outgoing, silly, talented family members. There are a few introverts who when you take the time to know them they will shock you with their talent and silliness too.

I pray that I can figure out a way to make us all like we were before. I want my family back. It's never too late for family. Until it is too late. I don't want to loose anyone and have them not know how much I love them. I love my whole family. the messed up one's who take more patience to love and the weird one's cause that's me too, and the ones who are easy to love.

Whether it is hard or easy to love you. If you're my family I promise to love you anyway! I know people say that friends can be family too and trust me I have a huge family via my bestie and I love them to the moon and back but I think God made my family mine for a reason and I plan on loving them until there is no more time left to love them.

Random things I say.

I feel like it will be better if I don't give anyone any context and just let you know that this is what my husband lives with everyday. Here are some random things that pop out of my mouth:

• What is with the fake accent? Your name is Frank.
• I don't like having to compromise. I like dictatorships. I like the word dick. I like taters and I like ships. 
• He's not a calf. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE HIS MANLINESS!
• Why do all these college students have too much hair for a human?
• I don't want to hang out wit y'all. I just want your alcohol. (That one turned into a song in the car the whole way home)
• My pants were wrongfully excited.
• That last car's headlights just raped my eyeballs and it didn't feel fancy.
• Then, just to level the playing-field, God made boobs hurt.
• Stop sticking your butt in my face, cat, I'm in crisis.
• I don't like goslings unless it's Ryan Gosling.
• I'm grieving too much for pants. 

This is just what I said in a short period of time that my husband said was weird. I don't pay attention to being normal so this is just me. Not even sorry. Lol

What I wish for them

I am not a parent. I hope to one day have kids of my own. Right now what I do have is my best friends daughter who we call my part time kiddo, and my niece. K and C are both a big part of my happiness. I don't see either one as often as I'd like because they both live at least a 2 hour drive from me. I cherish every moment I do get to spend with them.

I spend a lot of time thinking about how the world will be when they are my age. I hope that it is a better place in at least some ways. I hope that people are still kind. I hope that they get to feel the pride of living here that I feel. Mostly I hope that it doesn't take something bad to make them thankful for what they have. I remember when 9/11 happened how patriotic everyone was. I remember how much our country bound together to help those they could. I felt so proud to be an American! I still do and will forever but I wish it didn't take such a horrible thing to make me realize how great I have it.

I hope that future K and C are in a world that is accepting of differences. I hope that they don't have to feel the empathy for others who are judged for being different. I hope that they are different in enough ways and proud of it. I'm the first to admit I'm an odd duck but I think my weirdness is part of what makes me me and what makes me lovable. I hope that this future world has less judgement and more acceptance. I hope people don't use religion as a way to make people feel bad about their differences but instead use it to make people feel good whole and safe. I hope K and C are still at least a little bit the kids I love today. I hope they're still silly in their 30's.

I hope that in the future they will still be a big part of my life. I hope that they know how much I adore them and have from the moment I laid eyes on them. I hope they both know how to love and be loved. I both don't want them to grow up and can't wait to see the people they become. I hope the world can live up to what they deserve!