January is a hard month for a lot of people. It's right after the holidays so you are missing any loved ones who were missing from your holiday celebration. It's still cold and wet. (At least where I live) and the next holiday you have to look forward to is Valentine's Day. Which I have always loved but I think I'm in the minority. So, January is hard for most people. For me, January is awful with one bright spot.
Several years ago my family took in my brothers best friend, Sean. He lived with us for a long time until he was old enough to join the army and head off to basic. Sean was like a third brother. Then one January he came down from Ft. Lewis to visit my brother for his birthday. They had a great time spent it with friends doing what they always did. Then we got a call that Sean never showed up back in Washington. We all searched for him. Then we found out....
Sean had committed suicide. It was one of the most difficult things my family has been through. It still hurts to think about the funeral or when we found out or when the chaplain came. We luckily had a lot of support but every January my family kind of goes through a collective depression. Then a few year ago another person we loved passed away in January. It brought back all the memories.
So I always take a week of vacation before my brothers birthday every year so that I can re group and try to give him a great birthday that makes him not think about all the horrible January's we have had before. For some then last year we lost my husband's grandfather right before new years which now means January has turned into a month where I just mourn 90% of the time. So if I'm in a funk this month or bummed out or unnaturally quiet. Please don't push me I'm just taking a moment for my brother and everyone else I've loved who is in heaven.
No comments:
Post a Comment